Sunday, January 27, 2008

A meaningless post turns into much more...

Today was a fantastic day. In fact, fantastic doesn't even do the day justice. You know what was so fantastic about this day? I did nothing. Nothing. Well, I take that back, because I did watch approximately 4 hours of What Not to Wear. I also enjoyed the BEAUTIFUL weather, and took a stroll to the library to study. Oh! And watched Miss America with Lauren and Krista. Tonight we went to Wal-Mart and bought a microwavable cherry pie, which turned out to be better than I expected, and just lounged around and stuffed ourselves with pie and whipped cream and then some chips after that, as if we didn't already eat enough pie. Anyway, it was fantastic. I'm not going to go on to complain about work like I feel like doing, just because last night was most likely the worst work night in all Cotton Patch history, but honestly after today I know that I have been working too much. When sitting around in sweats watching TV until 3:30 feels odd and not right, i think something is wrong. :D

I'm not going to complain about my job, because I really like it, I do. I really feel like God has placed me there to be blessed and learn, and I have. I have made friends who are hurting, yearning and searching. People who need the Lord, people who want the Lord but are so blinded by the evil of the world. It makes me angry when I see evil hurting people so badly. I am taken back with every awful story I hear. It breaks my heart to hear the stories, when I see the sadness in their eyes and hear the quiver in their voices, I want them to know. I want them to know the grace, mercy, comfort, unfailing love and strength that the Lord brings. Sometimes I get frustrated, when we're all sitting around the table at the end of the night rolling silverware, (which by the way, is a ritual that seems to bring out the honesty in ALL people) and the conversation coming from these hurting hearts is so sad, I pray "Father, they need you. How long will it take for them to know you?" When I need words, they don't come. When I have words, it's not the right time. I truly believe that I am there for a reason, just like we are all where we are in life for a reason. Except this time feels different. I feel like I am being awakened to a whole new side of life, it's a little crazy to think Cotton Patch can do that to a person, but that's what it feels like. I feel like God is possibly showing me, through my new friends, what the rest of my life holds. I don't know, it might be a crazy theory, but I think this is what I want to do. Not be a waitress forever, but talk to people. Hurting people. Searching people. People who have no hope because of what the evil of the world has done to them. I want to show them hope. But I need to gain the hope first. The hope that even I can get past what has kept me for so long. I think once that happens, helping hurting people heal will be more realistic. Once I am healed.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Back to school

After a wonderful, relaxing, renewing, absolutely fabulous but seemingly way too short break, it's back to the grindstone. It's the last semester of my freshman year. (that makes it sound like I don't have a whole 3 more years after this semester) :D Anyway, today was good. I'm real excited about New Testament and Choir. My English teacher seems very eccentric and fun...I think I'll enjoy that class too. I hoping to do better than last semester, and I think that goal is definitely accomplishable (as long as i don't use the word accomplishable in English). All in all, I'm looking forward to this semester. Looking forward to growing more and learning exciting new things!

A couple days before I headed back to school I got together with a couple of my favorite friends and played with Monica's sweet new camera. Here are a few of my favorites from the day...

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thoughts of celebration in 2008

I remember thinking when I first became a Christian that God had pretty words for us, but words weren't life. I thought there was no way it could be that simple, that straightforward. Life was tangled and twisted, withering from birth. I could not erase the past. I thought, no matter how hard I tried to believe those words, they would never be true to me. I used to never look back, never look forward and had convinced myself that the now did not exist. It was easier that way. I celebrate today because I can now look back, even though looking back is accompanied by a swarm of difficult emotions, I have the encouragement of looking forward, hoping for a future that will not change the past but change the now. When I watch the sunrise, or the sunset, when the sky's colors are glowing and brilliant, it is as if the Lord is saying to me "This is what I have to offer you, I want to fill your life with color and warmth. I want to fill it with light." The hope that the Lord brings with salvation is one that has changed me. The road ahead is long and hard, but I give praise to the One that has brought me this far. I write this not to merely remember what used to be, but to celebrate what is, and what is to come. Healing, renewing, spectacular hope. Another year has passed. I start 2008 by celebrating the life that the Lord has given me. As hard as it may be sometimes to not feel forgotten, I plant my feet on the solid ground of truth, truth that says "And the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." I rest on that, and pray that this year I would come to believe that truth, and other truths that He has made more than ever. I pray that I would live a life that proclaims I believe that truth. After all, life is not a problem to be solved, it's an adventure to be lived. An adventure that brings God glory and brings others to His precious name.