tree hugger

i love this tree.

i loved it last year too.

this year is seems even more beautiful.

it cheers me up.

if it wasn't so big and bushy and i could fit my arms around it i would give it a big hug.

Marley dies.

I just cried my eyes out because of Marley and me. Gosh. So sad. Also watched another good, but also depressing moving tonight, The Dutchess. It's been an uplifting night of dog deaths and bad arranged marriages. Sorry if I ruined the movie by my post title, but i just thought you should know.

I need to be reading for my microbiology test on tuesday, but my throat is still hurting from trying to hold back the sobs in the lobby to keep from embarrassing myself, so i'm not in the reading kind of mood. So of course naturally, when procrastination takes over, this is where I come.

Last night we had our final RA get together for the semester (excluding the gazillion hours we will spend together these next few days during check out). We had a really fun time pigging out, bowling, and rock climbing:

Robyn after eating:I'm so very happy about the time I have gotten to spend with those lovely humans up there. Its been so great. We have grown a lot this semester, I think. Or at least I have from the times we have spent together. Every tuesday during our meeting we have been going through 1 Corinthians 13.

I have felt so challenged with how I love.

I used to read these verses and like it just because it sounds pretty, and it's about love. Well, it does, and it is, but I have learned that it's not quite that simple. I've been forced in a sense to examine myself with every new verse.

love is patient....am i?

love is kind...what about me?

love does not envy...yeah that one is tough.

love does not boast...is that possible?

love is not easily angered...oh.

love is not jealous...crap. crap. crap.

love does not keep record of wrong...really?!

Paul ends the phrase with what love does do and says love always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres.

I don't think that he wrote this to make us feel like crap. Paul probably was just wanting to encourage and challenge. He seems like the encouraging kind of guy. But when I read these verses I feel like crap. I am jealous. I couldn't count how many records of wrong I have in my puny brain. I'm angry, so very very angry at people who hurt me.

I know God is a God of grace, and even though I'm apparently awful at love, He still loves me. That is so amazing.

Thanks, God.

Dear Sweet Summer,

Come quick.

You keep teasing me.

A couple days ago I read 95 degrees, but still had to go to class.

My rosy cheeks and slightly burned shoulders tell me you are on your way.

The feeling of taking the first big juicy bite out of a sweet watermelon and carelessly letting the juice run down my neck makes me want you here.

The bright green grass, hot sun, beautiful colors all around make me think you are screaming "I'm here!"

What a joke. You kidder.

Dear Sweet Summer, please hurry and get here.

with love, anticipation, and no patience,

allye

funniest thing ever

okay, so maybe not the funniest thing ever. but definitely my default when i'm having a bad day. it makes me laugh HARD every single time.

hope you have laughed today.

April Recap

So, I don't know why I do this to myself every night. Say I'm going to go to bed early then piddle around until 1am. But, I'm up and thinking about how fast this month has gone by. How crazy it has been. How fun it has been. And I just don't want to forget about it just because i've been busy out the wazoo.

Things I want to remember about April 2009:

-How this month was filled with flowers. It's been so lovely having flowers in my room almost all month long:

-Learning (or trying to learn) that love does not keep record of wrong. A valuable lesson that has shown me a lot about myself.

-The exciting day of my birth. So much happened, including Dani Beth rockin' it out as Mary in the the Easter Pageant:

-Play day. How much of a needed break it was for me.

-Trying to be okay with whatever happens...knowing God is faithful. Side note: I'm failing microbiology. Its possible at this point, but probably a stretch for me to be able to pull it off. This has been a big stress and frustration to me lately. If I don't pass it will delay me a whole semester. I've decided that all I can do is keep trying, and praying for a miracle, or a professors softened heart.

-Getting so nervous in my first nursing practicum that breathing was a difficult task. Then feeling like a ton of bricks was lifted off of my shoulders after I was done. SO awesome.

More to look forward to in this wonderfully crazy month:

-"informal" elliott and layne's twist on formal. very, very, very excited about this. mostly because i heard includes glow sticks and dancing.

-First round of clinicals on Monday (the 20th). YIKES.

-Last nursing test of the semester on Monday (the 20th)!!

-Last week of classes before finals...

-THEN SUMMER! oh goodness...cannot wait.

love you.

Oh, you are my star

Check out these sweet little gems I received for Easter. Aren't they great? I love the little yellow stars in the center of the red flower.

This weekend was refreshing. It was nice to get a 3 day break, and take the time to reflect on Christ's sacrifice and Resurrection.

This week is crazy busy and I'm feeling it already. I've gotten ready to take a nap 3 times today and then remembered something else that has been left unaccomplished. It is a frustrating thing.

Not that much longer until I can breath out. It will probably be an exasperated sigh by then...but still.

Not much has changed. Still happy. stubborn. content. constantly thinking. trying to get better at hope. dreaming.

love.

1 Corinthians 9:22-23

To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Swimming through life

Such a beautiful day.

I'm sitting in my room with my windows open listening to my friends over at easter pageant sing their little hearts out.

I'm 20.

Don't feel any different, but it's still a little odd to think about.

My brother Austin turns 17 today. That is also crazy to me.

He's the cutie up there swimming with me. That swim lesson was probably shortly before he decided it would be a good idea to throw a huge rock up in the air. The rock was overcome by gravity and quickly came to land upon my head, allowing me to get my first round of stitches.

It seems like yesterday I would run around calling him "bowling ball head" and then ^ that would happen. :)

It seems like yesterday that I was laughing at him while he ordered a "grill" for his teeth online.

He would stand up on the kitchen table and sing "that's my prerogative" whenever he thought he was about to get into trouble.

Whenever someone was getting upset, instead of trying to make them feel better he would say "WHY YOU MAD?!" in a gangsta voice.

You have always been crazy and hilarious Austin.

Love you, brother. Happy birthday.

I'll stay by you when it don't come easy

Have you ever looked at your calender and felt a little suffocated? I felt that way today. and yesterday. and the day before.

I'm overwhelmed.

period.

Things are winding down, which interestingly enough means things are really picking up. Some how my professors are planning on fitting 11 tests in before May. Yes, 11. My mind has yet to wrap around this...I guess I better try and convince it to wrap fast.

30 days until Summer.
Summer?
For real?!

Good gravy, this year has gone by so fast!

I'm ready for it to be over, but also want it to last forever. I'm going to miss so much about this year, I know it. Why do people have to grow up and graduate?

So is life.

PS- I'm turning 20 on Wednesday. I cannot believe it. 20. 20. 20. Whoa baby. Scary, sad, exciting, crazy. When people ask how old I am I still say 18 sometimes. I don't think I'm ready for 20.

So is life.

love you,
allye