Live in Love.

2011-07-25T16:38:00.002-05:00

Just another friendly reminder to check out our new blog at:

http://www.crosbyville.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Allye & Andrew

A New Place

2011-07-14T15:18:00.003-05:00

I'm happy to say that we have a new little patch of the interweb to call home. I will no longer be blogging here, but you can follow us at:

http://www.crosbyville.blogspot.com/

Let me know what you think about it!

We're MARRIED

2011-07-10T17:32:00.002-05:00

(photo credit: Monica Burkett Photography)

Sorry I've been MIA from the blog

Life has been crazy.

busy.

exciting.

different.

and oh so fun.

Stay tuned because I'll be back with exciting things.

Like a tour of our New Orleans abode, and maybe even tell you about the happiest day of my life (pictured above).

Until then, you survived without me for this long, just hang on a little longer.

Love,

Mrs. Crosby

5 days

2011-06-16T20:19:00.003-05:00

Andrew,

By this time next week we will be married and exploring Hawaii together. My intentions of telling you 20 something reasons why I love you failed. Not because I couldn't find 20 something reasons, but because I was busy enjoying all the reasons while we were together the past week and a half in our new little house without internet.

Here I am though, 5 days away from becoming yours forever, trying to find the words to articulate all of the feelings I am having right now. To tell you the truth, it is just not possible. That could be because I just spent 8 solid hours studying for the biggest test of my life, or more likely because I am deeply in love with you and my brain cannot do what my heart feels justice.

The searching part of my life is over. I have found everything that I want in a companion in you. There are no other guys I need to meet because I have found the only one I will ever need. I have everything that I could ever want in a husband, partner for life, father to my babies, grandfather to my grandbabies, and most of all best friend. We will be with each other through everything and anything life can throw at us, and be together even at the end of life.

This is why I am marrying you in 5 days.

I will spend the rest of my life trying to fill all of the roles and supply all of the needs that you have for a wife, and I pray that I will do it with the grace, beauty, and love that you have shown me.

I love you. To the moon and stars and galaxies and back a trillion times.

Allye

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it our even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

Long picture post

2011-06-15T22:37:00.005-05:00

Hi!

I'm alive.

But have failed my blogging commitment exceedingly.

Since I have last written lots has happened.

Monica and I went to canton where we nearly sweated to death and met this little lump of love.

He was seriously one of the most heart melting creatures I have ever set eyes upon. He tripped over his own ears and when he drank water out of a bowl his ears just bobbed along side in the water. It took some serious strength to not bring him home with us.

I haven't stopped begging Andrew since. He's growing a great distain for all things puppy.

I don't blame him.

On every grocery list and to-do list we would make I would write:

-Get puppy.

Even though we didn't come home with a new puppy, Monica and I happily obliged to love on these two. Monica and Bret's furbabies (my nephpups) (riduculous, i know), are the sweetest.

After spending some time with the Burketts, I got to hang out with my pal Allie for a day. She took me to the airport and I was off for a 10 day visit with my honey.

We began the unpacking journey in our amazing little house.

It's such a great little place. We already love it.

I spent a great deal of my time in New Orleans cleaning feverishly. Anytime I got tired of cleaning I just thought about how much less I'm going to feel like cleaning after spending 10 days in Hawaii.

Here's a glimpse of our little neighborhood:

And our amazing (work in progress) backyard.

Being there setting up our house made me so much more excited about moving. Not that I wasn't excited before, there was just a good deal of apprehension, which is partially still there, but not nearly as much.

I'm so excited to start our new life together.

It was great for me to get plugged into some of the ministry Andrew does in NOLA while I was there too. I helped our with the baseball team Andrew coaches.

They are a rowdy, crazy, untrained group of little boys that can make any calm and rational person decide to pull their hair out and jump in front of a moving vehicle, but I already love them.

I already want to adopt 4 of them.

These always help ease apprehensions, too:

Just one week until we get married.

Garsh, I cannot wait.

Side note: I take my NCLEX (nursing licensing exam) on Friday at 8am. I am slightly overwhelmed/stressed/worried about it, which I believe are normal feelings. However, I could definitely use your thoughts and prayers! Also, my car kicked the bucket today. Thankfully, due to generous friends (allie and family), I am borrowing a car to get around until we figure out what to do.

Awesome times ahead, for shizzle.

2011-06-01T22:46:00.004-05:00

I'm a bit sleep deprived (hence the for shizzle), sore from moving, and extremely ready to be in Hawaii.

I've been staying at my friend Amy's house for a short stint since Julie and I moved out of our apartment. I have been spending time chatting with her about marriage, life, babies, anything/everything in between, and playing with her sweet kiddos. I haven't touched my computer in a couple of days due to that and the madness of moving.

Tomorrow I'm going to get to see one of my longest bffs Monica and her hubby, and on Friday Monica and I are going to Canton (which I could not be more excited about). I'm not so excited about having to suppress my puppy fever in dog town though.

After hanging with Monica I get to see Allie and hopefully Robyn.

And on Saturday I'm going to NOLA to see my man!

It really couldn't get any better.

Well, it could if I DIDN'T suppress my puppy fever...but Andrew might die/not talk to me for the rest of our lives.

I choose happy husband over puppy.

I'll continue saying that for as long as we shall live.

I do.

Speaking of I do's, we will be I do-ing in approximately 20 days.

DANG GOOD news, because I am READY.

Here's me playing catch up on my way too lofty goal of blogging every day. Shoulda known bettah.

22. Andrew, you are so smart. This kind of relates to your creativity, but I really do love how smart you are. I may be just slightly dumb, so keeping me around is definitely going to make you look REALLY good. I am constantly asking you "what does that mean?" when you say a big word or are telling me about something you learned in seminary or "who is that?" when you're talking about history, musical legends, or famous artists. I love how you think, and ponder. I will always learn something new being your wife, and I love that.

21. I love how much you love music. Even though I sometimes give you a hard time about your massive record collection, deep down I like it a lot. It's such a neat hobby, even if it means I have to endure countless pawn shop trips and digging through bins at thrift stores and garage sales...it's actually kind of growing on me. I love dancing with you to the crackly sound of a record and I love dreaming of us teaching our babies how to dance to that same sound. Your mixed CDs are my comfort when I'm missing you and needing to feel some extra love, you put together the best mixes. Seriously, quit your day job and make mixes for a living. Actually, maybe wait until I find a job to do that.

20. I love how much you love your family. It's a natural, simple love that is inspiring to me and makes me excited for us to start a family together, even if it is just the two of us for a (long) while. Your love for them is evident in the way you tell stories, talk on the phone with them, and light up when we're all together. I feel such thankfulness to be joining a family that is filled with so much love.

Who let the dogs out

2011-05-29T09:55:00.004-05:00

18. A photo of your pets

Technically (sadly, and unfortunately) I do not have any pets at the moment. I never did tell the blogging world that Annie died (again). The poor lil pup just couldn't beat the sickness. She was adorable though and I couldn't help posting a picture of her because I loved her so much.

Kensey is my roommate Julie's dog, but I love her like my own.

Nacho is Andrew's dog, and even though he has a brain the size of a pea I love him too. We're not going to be able to keep him because of his inability to learn to pee outside and the fact we are moving into a nice house. We also wont have a big back yard for him to get his energy out. We'll miss him, but it's for the best.

24 & 23

2011-05-29T09:44:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a hectic day of packing, moving, hanging out with Crosbys, more moving, and going to visit Allie at her sweet breast friends cookout to help her walk the Susan G. Koman Walk for the Cure. Hence, I didn't even touch my computer.

23 days! I'm usually a countdown person, I love thinking that 23 days seems so long and then experiencing how quickly it goes by. Usually I make time much shorter than it is. I'll say to Andrew "only a week until I get to see you" when in actuality it's 10 days. I'm not doing that with the wedding though, it would be to cruel to my excited self.

I am going to New Orleans in 5 days to spend time with the boy and help him set up OUR HOUSE! Crazy. And fun. I am so excited.

24th reason why I love you, Andrew:

I love your laugh. It makes me laugh to hear you laugh and that will never get old. I love that it's something that people notice about you because it really does bring joy to other people. It's also pretty nice of you to laugh at (most of ) my jokes. Thanks for amusing me. I'm grateful I get to hear your laugh for the rest of our lives.

23:

I love your creativity. You have a unique way of viewing the world that I admire. I love that you're creative enough to come up with the strangest, yet most adorable pet names for me. They make me smile, and I'm sure would make others either cringe or tilt their heads in confusion saying "did that guy just call his wife peanut butter puddin' surprise?". I'll always cherish the little creative gems you've given to me throughout our dating years, all of the mixed cds, the hand assembled jewelry, sweet cards, and neat modge podged pictures.

25

2011-05-27T20:48:00.003-05:00

25 days until Andrew finally becomes my husband, and I his wife.

Husband and wife.

Those words together have a new meaning to me than they ever have had before.

I have seen marriages.

Beautifully happy ones, as well as violently sad ones.

I have been emerged deep in the loss that divorce causes, and experienced chills and from hearing a old, wise, beautiful woman try to explain to me the depth that the love for her late husband holds.

I remember saying to my friends in high school that I didn't want to ever get married because of the trust it entails, because your heart could be so easily crushed. Loving someone that much didn't make sense to me at that time, all that made sense to me in love was pain. I saw too much pain stem from putting your heart on the line and loving. Why do that to myself?

I've written here before about how my heart as been transformed by love. How it has been a slow, sometimes painful process of realizing that I am not in control. I've talked about how being loved by people throughout this journey of becoming someone who trusts love has brought me to a better, more tangible understanding of God's love.

Trusting love has been a battle for me because love has not always been trustworthy in my eyes.

It's amazing to dwell on that past perception of something that holds such beauty in my eyes now.

Because now, I trust love. I trust that it's beautiful, enriching, fulfilling, and something that we cannot live without.

I also trust that it's painful. It's painful because as humans we have expectations of how we should be loved and those expectations are not always met. It's painful because in life there is loss, heartache, and unexplained hurt. The beauty in the pain though is that it is painful because we trust. When love isn't trusted, there is a numbness to pain because you are expecting for your heart to be crushed. Having been here, as well as there I can say that I would much rather feel pain because of trusting love than be numb because of mistrust and expecting love to fail.

I love (not to wear out that word here) that I feel this way. I believe with all of my heart that God took me through life knowing that I would be laying in the living room of my empty apartment at such a vital transition in my life, dwelling on how I got here, and how everything that has happened in my life has one way or another taught me was true love means (even if it was an experience that taught me what true love isn't).

Trusting love has never come naturally to me, but now it feels as natural as taking my next breath.

In 25 days Andrew and I will dive deep into a life together that I pray is filled with years and years (and years) of the natural love that we already have. I know that our love will grow, but right now as a crazy, head over heels, soon to be bride I don't see how that is possible.

I didn't intend to get carried away with all of that, but I did.

My intention was to tell you that I want to remember this time of feeling so much genuine trust in love, and loving Andrew in a unique way before marriage by telling a reason each day leading up to our marriage of why I love him like I do.

25 days isn't going to be enough to tell all the reasons, but I think this will be a fun way for me to remember (and remind him) each day how truly privileged I feel to get to spend forever with him.

Andrew, 25 days until I'm your wife:

I love you because your kind, gentle, patient love towards me has taught me to trust like never before.

2011-05-27T08:57:00.004-05:00

16. A photo of you at the last party you went to.

Hm. I'm not much of a party goer. I think the last party I went to was for my birthday/bachelorette party. It was an amazing weekend full of celebration. So many of my sweet, wonderful friends came into town which is a sure fire way to make it super special.

and cause I love 'em....

Love, sweet love.

2011-05-25T15:02:00.004-05:00

15. A photo of you and someone you love.

Well, this one is a given.

27 days until we're together forever.

Cannot wait.

Faaaaamily

2011-05-24T19:11:00.004-05:00

14. A photo of your favorite family members

Andrew, being my immediate family and my favorite human in the whole wide world is my "favorite family member". I have to say my cousins too though because they are my blood, and my best friends/worst enemies growing up...that's what family is about.

2011-05-23T19:03:00.005-05:00

13. A photo of you and your best friend(s)

2011-05-20T09:52:00.006-05:00

12. A photo of you

I don't particularly enjoying posting photos of myself on my blog. Any time this photo challenge calls for such a thing though, I turn to my photo booth where I have been trying to document my hair changes since the big chop last 2 Septembers ago. It's fun to see how your hair changes (for me).

This photo, however, was taken on the happiest day of my life thus far. When I got back to the dorm after Andrew asked me to be his wife, Maddie and Christi came up to my room and talked, giggled, squealed, stared at my ring, tried on my ring, and hugged me a lot. It was a special time. After they left I felt like I should shower because I was still feeling shameful for looking like crapola during one of the most important moments ever. After I got out of the shower I saw my ring laying on the counter and I cried some of the happiest tears I've ever cried and then took this picture.

This is the face of pure joy and excitement (with puffy cry eyes):

2011-05-19T15:46:00.004-05:00

11. A photo of your favorite film(s)

I have 4 favorite movies. I could watch any of these movies any day. The first three are my true favorites. The music in them is fantastic which is why I think I love them so much. They are all three quirky, sweet, and about love in some way.

The last one is random, but I will never get tired of this movie. It makes me laugh every single time. I quote this movie in my head at least once a week. When it first came out my brother Austin and I probably watched it a solid 30 times or so...

2011-05-18T10:10:00.004-05:00

10. A photo of you as a baby

I had a difficult time choosing between these two because they are both equally funny.

The first one I am such a CHUNK and it's cute. Plus my Aunt Sheila's earrings are rockin'. Double chins and chubby fingers...

And this one because I am in spaghetti induced coma/confused as to why everyone is singing. I love the dish towel that my grandma turned into a bib, and the bright yellow highchair.

2011-05-17T10:14:00.004-05:00

9. A photo of your family

A Christmas tradition in the Crosby household is to crowd surf the babies in front of the Christmas tree. I think it's awesome, and Andrew and I have debated how long we're going to surf Simon. I hope until he's at least 13.

This year we'll have 3 babies to surf. Not sure how we're going to manage.

Love them.

2011-05-16T11:33:00.003-05:00

8. A photo of your favorite band/musician

My favorite band/musician changes at least once a week, if not daily. However, one that always remains up there on the list is Eisley. I think it helps that I've seen them live a couple of times too and it's always such a fun show.

This picture is from 2008, when my bffs Monica and Danielle bought tickets to celebrate my birthday. It was so much fun.

I do have to admit though that I didn't buy their most recent album because the album preview on itunes left me slightly depressed. It's just SO SAD. I can take sad music, but literally every single song is about lost love and failed relationships.

I just couldn't take it.

So I stick to Trolly Wood, because that song is just so cute.

Big day

2011-05-14T23:20:00.003-05:00

I signed up to take the biggest test of my life yesterday.

That might be a dramatic choice of words, but the NCLEX is a very big deal.

You see, if I pass I am an RN (registered nurse).

If I don't pass I'm just BSN (bachelors of science in nursing).

BSN doesn't really have that much significance without the RN.

Sure, I could probably find something to do but I couldn't be a nurse with out those two letters.

So, the NCLEX is a big deal, and I'm taking it June 17th at 8am.

That's one reason why yesterday was memorable. Another is because I booked my final flight to visit the Mr. before I become the Mrs. It was so exciting to think about not having to plan out trips to see each other anymore.

No more distance.

That makes my heart leap just typing it.

Gracious, I can't wait.

It's getting to the point where the time we have left is just becoming frustrating. I miss him. He misses me (I think). We know we're going to be together SO SOON, but dangit, it's not coming soon enough.

I know I will probably write a blog 2 days before I leave to go to Hawaii something that goes a little like this "oh my gosh i cannot believe it's HERE!!"

But for now, it's dragging like a person's leg that has steppage gait because of a CVA. (sorry, too much NCLEX review in one day).

Monday begins my crazy babysitting schedule. I would say that by the end of this month I am going to be so tired of babies, but I really don't think that could ever happen. I'm hoping that once Monday hits this month will start flying by.

Photo Challenge...it's back!

2011-05-13T12:43:00.003-05:00

I neglected the photo challenge when things got hectic, but it's back full force! (maybe)

7. A photo of someone you love.

My redneck abraham lincoln memorial:

love him.

Feelings

2011-05-11T13:35:00.005-05:00

Laundry is in washer/dryer,

wedding dress is altered and back in my possession,

loan counseling completed,

random UMHB bookstore purchases made (coffee cup and blanket to remember my times in college).

It has been a productive day so far.

I started to work out again, and my determination to get fit for this summer quickly faded. With each jumping jack and push up all I could think about was the strawberry cream cheese cupcake recipe I read earlier this morning.

I finally called it quits after a grueling 5 minutes.

Sheesh, what a joke.

Let's talk about graduation.

The pinning ceremony was sweet and special. It was a great time to celebrate just as a nursing family. My wonderful family was there and that made it so much sweeter. I wish I had pictures, but I have not yet stolen them from the various people who took them that night.

Graduation day was also fun. I loved getting to cheer for the people who have stood by me the past 4 years. My nursing class made a point to cheer for every person in our class and it was the greatest thing to walk across that stage hearing the cheers for me.

I must admit, the whole day was a bit euphoric and I can't put my finger on the exact feelings I had.

Mixed emotions about it all are still ensuing but the general feeling is excitement and happiness.

Thoughts on "growing up".

I honestly don't feel too different at this point. I'm babysitting this entire month which is usually the job of a highschooler, which could be why I don't feel like a college graduate.

In my eyes I've been a grown up for a long time, paying bills, owning a car, taking care of myself. Even though I have had all of these grown up responsibilities for a long while I still have a good amount of transitioning to do.

I'm grateful that I've already made a few of the big transitions that most people are making at this point in their lives because I think it will make my other changes much easier to deal with.

I will be a wife in 41 days, which seems like a long time because I am impatient and antsy about it all, but it really isn't.

A week after that I will move out of Texas for the first time in my 22 years of life.

I'll set up my first home, and be partially responsible for making sure another human eats beside myself. Which means no more left over ramen and broccoli.

I'll hopefully have a full time job sometime after that.

A job in which people's lives will be in my hands.

I also have an awful lot of loans to pay off. I've only had one nightmare about it so far.

I'm ready for all of these changes, but that doesn't go without saying that it's a little bit daunting.

I said yesterday in our marriage counseling that the excited feelings definitely outnumber the scared ones, but they are still there.

I'm so thankful to have a supportive, loving man by my side doing his best to make all of these changes easier. He encourages me daily and loves me so well.

How did I get so lucky?

Out of all of these feelings and emotions these changing days have brought, the biggest one I'm feeling is love.

It's the best thing ever.

Life

2011-05-10T22:43:00.002-05:00

Wow.

What a whirlwind past couple of weeks it has been!

Tonight will be my 2nd night to sleep in my own bed in almost 3 weeks I think.

Here's a brief, random, perhaps confusing update on my life:

Lots of good things going on over here.

I graduated, for one.

Which is just crazy, wonderful, and has definitely not sunken in fully quite yet.

I already cried from thinking about not coming back to my nursing family next year.

I had a great time celebrating with family and friends for pinning and graduation.

Andrew came in town and I cried like a big baby when I dropped him off at the airport. After two and a half years of doing this I have never cried so hard as I did tonight.

We had our first pre-marital counseling session today, it was interesting and encouraging.

It's amazing to see how God created us specifically for each other.

I'm so in love with that fella.

Still looking for a job, still haven't heard anything back.

41 days until I go to Hawaii to get married.

I started crying out of excitement and anticipation when I thought about tonight on my drive home.

I'm reading Matt Logelin's book Two Kisses for Maddy. Which has surprisingly only made my cry 3 times.

It probably would have been about 6, but I sucked it up on the plane because I was sitting in between two very large men who most likely would have been very uncomfortable with a crying girl between them.

Conclusions you can draw?

I cry a lot.

Seriously, hormones are crazy.

I'll be back with more substance at some point.

After I do about a months worth of laundry.

2011-04-27T08:55:00.002-05:00

6. A photo that makes you laugh.

This makes me laugh for a couple of reasons.

1. my sweet, darling fiance had set up the back seat for Nacho (the dog, in case you aren't aware) perfectly. Soft blankets, pillows, toys, everything a dog could possibly want on a road trip, and this is where Nach chose to lay... sandwiched between all of our stuff and the car roof.

2. because it looks like he is screaming/hitting the high note in a song.

3. he's just a funny looking dog.

She lives!

2011-04-26T19:51:00.002-05:00

Yesterday morning I received a call from the vet that I had been taking Annie to.

The conversation went a little something like this:

Vet: Allye? Uh, yes, this is Dr. K. Umm, about Annie...

Me: Yes?

Vet: Well, I didn't put her to sleep on Friday...

Me: Okay....

Vet: I've been giving her medication and she seems to be bouncing back. She's not acting sick anymore.

Me: Oh my gosh, okay.

Vet: I can take her to the shelter if you want me to.

Me: No! I'll come pick her up. I'm out of town, can I come get her tomorrow?

Vet: Yes, of course.

So, right now I'm typing this on my couch with Annie sleeping snuggled up next to me.

Talk about crazy.

Julie no longer calls Annie by her real name, she calls her Jesus.

I'm not going to rename her that, because that would be weird.

But it is a little ironic that I thought she died on good friday and then was back alive the day after Easter.

Sad day

2011-04-22T20:50:00.005-05:00

This post is going to be a long drawn out, depressing post. It's purpose is purely therapeutic.

Today was a really hard, sad day.

As you all know Annie was sick a couple of weeks ago, and after being put on antibiotics she got better. Well, the day after her antibiotics were out her symptoms came back, except this time they were worse. I tried to stay positive, took her to the vet again, and got her back on meds.

They didn't help this time.

She kept getting worse and worse.

Last night I knew. I knew that I was going to have to say bye to her.

I let her sleep with me. I cuddled her close, pet the super soft spot right between her eyes, down to her little nose, and back up to her speckled ears.

The first thing I told her when I picked her up off the street was "It's okay, I'll protect you puppy."

I found myself telling her the same thing last night.

It's funny, because having her turned me into this softy that thinks animals can understand what I'm saying to them.

Today when we got to the vet I sat in the parking lot and cried while she slept in my lap.

I kept saying "it's going to be okay."

I'm not sure if I was talking to her or myself. Probably both.

I took this picture,

gave her a huge hug, took some deep breaths and went into the vet.

He told me I was doing the right thing, that she was just going to get worse and suffer.

It helped in the moment but when I had to take off her little denim collar with that cute pink name tag on it, the lump in my throat became way to big to deal with.

I started crying and he said he would give me a minute.

I quickly composed myself because crying in front of people (especially people I don't know) is something that I cannot handle.

He came back in to take her because I didn't want to be present when they gave her the shot.

I couldn't say my final goodbye because I was too close to completely loosing it. I pat her head and told the vet thanks as a rushed out the door.

I walked to my car as quick as I could and as soon as the door closed, I sobbed.

After I realized that an old lady in the car next to me was watching me cry, I sucked it up and started to drive home with Annie's collar in my lap.

The rest of the day was pretty much full of me thinking about how much it sucks that I poured myself into this sweet little thing for 3 weeks and now she's just gone. I've never gotten that attached to an animal, and now I know why.

I don't regret it at all. Not one single bit.

Love just hurts sometimes.

She was so precious, sweet, fun, and brought me so much joy in a time that without her would have been much more lonely than it was with her. Having her meant that I had to always think about something else beside myself, and it was good for me.

She was good for me.

I miss her a lot. I'm probably going to wake up around 3 am to take her outside, because that's what she would wake up every morning.

Andrew told me today that he would get me a puppy again some day.

I'm going to hold him to that because having her reminded me how much I love being devoted to something that needs me and loves me.

I'll always remember how awesome she was, as corny as it may sound, I will. She was the best puppy ever.

The cutest, too...

2011-04-20T10:16:00.004-05:00

I'm feeling under the weather. I'm crossing my fingers it's just allergies, because I have to work a 12 hour shift tomorrow.

Annie has been sick again, too. She is on round 2 of antibiotics and they seem to be working. We will see...

I don't have much else to say, so here's the photo for today. (poetic)

5. A photo of you.

Short hair, in the Raindance house. If I weren't getting married in a couple months I would be really tempted to chop my hair again. I think I'll keep it growing for a while though.

Happy hump day!

Friday is 2 days away.

2011-04-17T18:35:00.002-05:00

Gah, I'm in such a blah mood.

What can I do to make myself feel better?

Besides eat, because good gracious, who knew that birth control could make a person SO STINKING HUNGRY ALL THE TIME?! It's driving me crazy. Too much information?

Sorry.

I'll post a daily photo.

4. A photo of the last place you went on holiday:

Allie took this picture one morning while we were in New Orleans over spring break. I was drinking coffee and Andrew was making phone calls for work. While this is not the most flattering picture of me by any means, I love it.

I can't wait for every day life with that guy.

Hope you have had a lovely weekend.

Saturday Snapshot & Daily Photo

2011-04-16T11:09:00.004-05:00

I'm combining forces today because I think two pictures in one day could become redundant.

3. A photo that makes you happy

A couple of summers ago Andrew and I went to Biloxi Mississippi for a beach day. This photo makes me happy for many reasons. 1. because I love him. 2. because it was a fun little adventure. 3. he's just so cute, his little smirk brightens my day. And 4. because it's what's to come. (Hawaii is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than Biloxi)

Stream of consciousness

2011-04-15T22:06:00.004-05:00

Today was our capstone symposium and senior nursing luncheon.

It was the last time my class will be together until graduation practice.

It's not quite feeling real yet.

I have been dreaming of this moment, the end of my college career, for a really long time.

But now that it's here I can't grasp it. Not even a tiny bit.

I cried a little bit tonight. It might have been the sad indie movie about a guy with cancer, or the fact that Annie woke up 3 times last night and I couldn't fall back asleep and I'm slightly exhausted.

It also could be because I'm kinda sad to leave this place.

I'm attached, I'll admit it.

I guess the sad part about moving away hit me today.

The happy most definitely outweighs the sad, let me preface with that please; because I cannot wait to live in New Orleans with my darling, sweet, most wonderful soon-to-be husband. Life with him there is going to be beyond my wildest dreams in the most delightful way possible.

It's just change.

It's moving away, saying goodbye to the people and things that I have spent the last 4 years of my life pouring into and investing in.

Change isn't easy, even when it's the happiest of changes.

I'm frustrated with my job situation. Still finding it hard to let go and let God as they say. Whoever they is.

My friends are getting offered positions left and right. I am feeling a little bit like a straggler, like I'm doing something wrong.

I talked to the Louisiana Board of Nursing today about getting my license endorsement and they were the opposite of encouraging. Saying that even if I found a job, I wouldn't be able to get my LA license until late July AT BEST.

It's looking like I'm going to be a house wife for the first few months of Andrew and I's journey together.

Maybe I'll become a great cook.

Or learn to fold laundry right after washing/drying it and not leave it in the dryer for days.

I might even try to pick up sewing again, who knows.

It's probably going to be the best time of my life. Who wants to work anyway?

Ha.

Life is a funny thing.

Funny, mysterious, and pretty much out of our control.

Which is freeing and scary at the same time.

I'm going to conclude this semi-bipolar blog post by saying I'm excited about my life, and I hope this didn't make anyone think that I'm not.

Change is just change.

If that doesn't make sense to you then that probably means you're good with change, and if that's the case then I'm proud of you.

I've gone through countless major life changes and it still beats me why I can't figure out how to embrace it like I want to.

Bipolar post ending now.

Love,

allye

Daily Photo Challenge

2011-04-15T15:53:00.003-05:00

Well, I've already fallen behind on the daily photo challenge. Any-who, here's day 2:

2. Your facebook profile picture:

Me and my sweet, adorable cousins over spring break at Ry's birthday party. I have loved them my whole life, and will never stop. They are like my siblings, and such a sweet part of my life. Plus, look at them...they are gorgeous!

Shower

2011-04-14T09:38:00.004-05:00

Let me tell you a little bit about my sweet, wonderful, absolutely perfect shower this weekend.

Maybe I should be a bit more specific. I'm about to tell you about my BRIDAL shower.

It was SO fun. I was nervous about it the morning of. Like, butterflies in my stomach, couldn't finish my whole sandwich at lunch kind of nervous. Ridiculous, I know. I just DO NOT like attention being on me, and a bridal shower (with me as the bride) naturally means the attention is going to be on me. I thought I was going to be super awkward opening gifts. I get into this cycle when opening gifts in front of people where I think I'm not being enthusiastic enough, so I overcompensate with WAY too much enthusiasm. I told my friends to scratch their nose if they caught me doing it. They only scratched their nose once and it was when I opened my KITCHEN AID MIXER. Yeah, there is no such thing as too much enthusiasm over that.

Anyway, it was great. The hostesses did such a wonderful job of making it super perfect. It was themes love birds. You can't go wrong with a bird theme, they are just precious.

The food was bird themed, there were little paper birds for people to write well wishes on and then hang them on the tree, bird salt and pepper shakers, ah! it was perfect.

Do you want to see pictures?

Too bad if you answered no to that question, because I'm about to post a lot of them.

These pictures come from the cameras of my talented soul friend Robyn, and my sweet future mom in law Diane. Thank you both for capturing the special day!

I am so thankful for friends and family who planned, came, and gave Andrew and I some great gifts to start our life together! I can't wait for June.

Speaking of getting married, yesterday I went to petsmart to get Annie a name tag. I figured it was about time, now that she is learning that she can explore and not staying by my side for every step I take. I was typing "GUTHRIE" on the back with my number on it when I realized that I'm only going to have that name for oh, 60 something more days and these name tags are expensive (8 bucks, by the way...CRAZY)! So, this is what I did:

I had to let Annie gnaw on my hand to get a decent photo of it and it's still blurry. If you can't tell, it says Crosby and has both Andrew and I's numbers on it. Every time I look at it I feel happy and excited.

Annie is excited about being a Crosby, too. Even though she is constantly trying to attack that darn dangly thing that makes noise around her neck. She caught it yesterday and walked around with it in her mouth so proudly for about 5 minutes (which is a very long time for her to stay focused on one thing...the pup has bad ADD).

I apologize for not being able to write one blog post without talking about the dog. One day, soon and very soon, I will do it.

Daily photo challenge

2011-04-13T15:19:00.004-05:00

Monica and Danielle, my two very longest best friends have been doing a daily photo challenge. I have loved looking at their pictures every day, and it has convinced me to do it too!

So, for the next 30 days or so (depending on how often I forget) I will be posting:

1. a photo of yourself a year ago

2. your facebook profile photo

3. a photo that makes you happy

4. a photo of the last place you went on holiday

5. a photo of you

6. a photo that makes you laugh

7. a photo of someone you love

8. a photo of your favourite band/musician

9. a photo of your family

10. a photo of you as a baby

11. a photo of your favourite film(s)

12. a photo of you

13. a photo of you and your best friend(s)

14. a photo of one of your favourite family members

15. a photo of you and someone you love

16. a photo of you at the last party you went to

17. a drunk photo of you

18. a photo of your pets

19. a photo of you in school

20. a photo of something you enjoy doing

21. a full length photo of you

22. a photo of your town

23. a photo of you today

24. a photo that you like your hair in

25. a photo of a night you loved

26. a photo of your favourite place

27. a photo of last summer

28. a photo of what you ate today

29. a photo of someone you find attractive

30. a photo of you when you were happy

You should do it too! It will be fun!

To begin,

1. A photo of yourself from a year ago:

This was last April at FBC New Orleans' crawfish boil. It was my first time to try crawfish, I was a little creeped out by how angry the crawfish looked!

Random Ramblings, Mostly Annie though

2011-04-13T10:45:00.004-05:00

Annie is thankfully pretty much back to normal!

She is again the annoyingly rambunctious, hyper, loves to run around the coffee table and drive Kensey crazy puppy.

She can climb up the apartment stairs by herself. I still walk behind her with my hands on both sides of her in case of a slip.

She's learning how to fetch:

She loves to perch:

I think she's on the mend and I am SO happy about that.

In other news, my capstone group is officially done with our project! IT FEELS AMAZING! We got chosen to participate in scholars day which means extra credit...not too shabby. Our symposium is on Friday, and after that we will be completely finished.

Biiiiig sigh of relief.

I got my assignment for the "immersion experience", and I'll be on a medical surgical floor at Hillcrest. I'm excited to see my Hillcrest friends again.

I applied for another job last night, this time it was different though. The posting said "NEW GRADS WELCOME!!". I jumped on it, and I'm praying to get a call SOON. It's an oncology nurse position, something that I was SO passionate about my first semester of nursing school. I think I would love it. We'll see what happens!

Other than that, 24 days until I graduate.

I need to show you pictures from my super wonderful shower on Saturday, too. Maybe I'll get to that this week.

A sick pup

2011-04-11T19:05:00.006-05:00

This is about to get a whole lotta ridiculous.

Just thought I would warn you before it begins.

Annie has been sick for the past couple of days. Last night it got bad. She was throwing up, lethargic, with a runny nose and goopy eyes.

I, being the queen of google-diagnosing automatically jumped to the worst possible conclusion.

She has distemper.

I've been a wreck. I almost cried about 10 times today thinking about having to put her to sleep.

Last night I laid on the floor with my feverish little pup, cuddled up close, cried and said "how did you do this to me? how can I already love you this much?!"

She didn't respond.

It's insane how much I like her...love her.

I guess it's because she is precious, and totally lovable; but I also think it's because I have put SO MUCH into her. Sleepless nights, a whole week spent not going out of the apartment because I want her to be socialized, and trained.

I took her to the vet today and he said it's too soon to tell if she indeed does have distemper...for now we're just going to assume it's a respiratory infection. She's on two medications as well as chicken and gravy baby food to make her eat her food (SPOILED).

How could anyone not love this face?

Seriously. Love her.

Thanks for bearing with me while I rant about my sad obsession with that adorable lump of fur.

I hoping she gets better fast.

22

2011-04-08T09:19:00.004-05:00

I'm 22 years old today.

Growing up is fun.

Today I'm thanking God for a year of love, and way too many blessings to count.

I know my 22nd year is going to be FULL of adventure and I'm excited for it.

Today is my little brother's birthday, too. He's 19, which feels way more crazy then me being 22.

cutest kid ever. don't let those big brown eyes, kissable cheeks, and chili bowl fool you though, he was a terror.

Austin hated affection, and I love it. Here is documentation of him pushing away one of my thousands of hugs (plus aforementioned sunscreen lathering by Nama).

Here's to growing up, making memories, loving, adventures, and life.

It's oh so sweet.

We slept!

2011-04-05T20:41:00.003-05:00

Night 3 with Annie was a success. She only woke up once, and slept until 6:30.

She's so much more fun when I have slept.

Now, we're onto learning to not pee on the carpet, but on the grass.

oh, puppy.

Sorry about all the posts about the pup. The only other things going on in my life besides her has been tests galore, and capstone project. My group is finishing our project tomorrow and I am SO excited.

Sleep is overrated

2011-04-04T17:41:00.003-05:00

At least that's what Annie seems to think.

Except, of course, when I'm awake.

She loves to sleep on the wood legs of our coffee table.

Weirdo.

She's too cute.

Still in love. Just a tired love. Hoping for a better night tonight.

Crossing our fingers. And paws.

She has a name

2011-04-03T13:09:00.005-05:00

Annie. 'Cause she was an orphan, and Julie is great at picking out names.

She's fitting in just fine.

And I'm kind of in love already.

I'm sure you can understand why.

I wasn't even mad at 5 am when I was woken up by puppy cries.

I've got it bad.

2011-04-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

Highway Pup

2011-04-02T20:41:00.005-05:00

I found this little darling today on the side of I35.

Shocking, I know.

I'm still going back and forth between keeping her and not keeping her. She's sooooo cute and sweet and hasn't had one accident.

I'll keep you updated.

For now I'm too busy smelling sweet puppy breath and running outside every 30 minutes to let her pee.

Be still my heart. Puppy love!

Just a few things.

2011-04-01T10:34:00.004-05:00

Because it's Friday, I slept in and I'm feeling revived here's a happier post:

1. Our capstone project is due in 7 days. Insert slight panic mixed with extreme joy that we're finally going to be done with this beast of a project.

2. Also in 7 days my friends from all different parts of Texas will be coming to Temple to have the best weekend ever! Next Friday is my 22nd birthday, and next Saturday is my first wedding shower AND bachelorette party! I'm SO excited.

3. Graduation is in 34 days. Holy cow.

4. The term holy cow used to crack me up as a kid. As in, every time I heard someone say holy cow I would start laughing uncontrollably and then say "say it agaiinnn!!" I was a weird child. Well, I suppose I'm still a weird child.

5. I've had the strangest dreams this week. I've dreamt that my favorite bloggers found my blog and then wrote about me on their blog. Obsessed much? Yeah...it's sad. I also dreamt about being kidnapped by a gang, and then Allie turned into the gang leader. Creepy.

6. I'm ready to have money so I can buy lots of groceries and cook healthy, yummy things. I've been eating SO unhealthy lately and it's making me feel yuck. I'm seeing visions of Jillian Michaels in my near future. I think it would be unfair to inflict that pain on myself during this stressful time...I'll start in May. :)

7. I cannot wait to be in Hawaii.

That's all.

Happy weekend.

Update on life (stream of consciousness)

2011-03-29T21:06:00.005-05:00

What a vague, boring title.

It serves as a warning to what this post is going to be like, though.

So take heed.

I'm not sure how many of you out there are actually interested in an update on my life. But since I like to look back and see where I was, how I was feeling, and what was really going on in my life, I'm kind of writing this for me too. At least typing that makes me feel better about venting on my life.

Here we go...

I'm discouraged about jobs. I know, I know, it's late March. It doesn't seem like May is that close, but it is! 30 days away, in case you were wondering.

Thankfully I don't HAVE to have a job by May because I don't move to New Orleans until after the wedding in July.

Anyway, I'm discouraged.

After getting rejected for 2 jobs I applied for without even hearing ANYTHING back from either of them, it hit me.

This is not going to be a gimme like I've thought all these years.

People have always told me after hearing that I'm going into nursing "OHHH YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FIND A JOB ANYWHERE, DOING ANYTHING YOU WANT!"

The facts: That is not true. At least not now.

Blah blah blah, lets not get into that talk "ohhh, the economy these days..."

Because first of all, I don't know a darn thing about the economy except everyone says its bad and only going to get worse. And second, I'm just turned off by all of it. It's depressing and pessimistic and annoying, That's all.

I talked with a nurse recruiter in New Orleans this week. While she was kind and helpful, she was not encouraging.

She told me that the job market for new grads in New Orleans "is impossible". My stomach sank after that conversation. I didn't give up hope. Sure, I might have called Andrew and cried and then dreamt scary dreams about not being able to pay back my student loans and loosing all of my teeth because I can't afford to go to the dentist. (I know, messed up right?! I can't afford to go to the dentist now and my teeth are fine. Maybe my dreams are taking into account my future filled with powdered sugar covered beignets).

Anyway, I'm not giving up hope, I'm still going to apply for jobs. It's just not how I thought it was going to be.

Things always work that way, and they always turn out, but I still can't trust because I have my own plans dangit!

Andrew calls me stubborn. I fight him on that sometimes.

Does that mean I'm stubborn?

Probably.

Want to know my "plan"? Since it doesn't matter at all and the Lord will do what He wants? My plan as of tonight is to apply for positions that I want even though I don't have the required 2-3 years RN experience that they are asking for. We'll see how that goes. I'll keep you updated.

If you're thinking of me, pray that I would be content with what God has in store for my career. I've had high hopes and big dreams and it's quite hard realizing they probably aren't going to happen right when I want them to.

Other than that, right now my life consists of studying (surprise, surprise) and trying to finish this blasted capstone project.

My wonderful group working hard tallying thousands of surveys. (I told them to look like you're working hard...that's what Lisa and Becca gave me).

I didn't even come home last night because we had so much to do. I was gone from my apartment for almost 36 hours straight.

April 8th is when the project is due. April 15th is our symposium for it.

After that it will be smooth sailing to graduation.

Until then, my group and I have capstone dates every day. Just the kind of dates I've been dreaming of.

At around 7pm today after staying up all night, taking (and doing miserably on) two tests, and not eating dinner because we were bound and determined to get things done, Brittany said "I need to do something." She got up from her chair and began doing this (and Becca followed suit). I'm lucky to have such a good group of people to work with.

Upside-down stress therapy.

So thats that.

If you read all of that nonsense, I applaud you and apologize.

Saturday Snapshot

2011-03-26T11:17:00.003-05:00

Around this time last year I was eating a whole bunch of crawfish with a whole bunch of fun people in New Orleans.

Around this time next year, I'll be doing the same thing.

Excited about my new home .

And crawfish...

How my grandma made me cry

2011-03-25T22:07:00.004-05:00

Life is full of moments. Sometimes those moments take you by surprise.

That happened to me one night during spring break.

A moment took me by surprise, left me holding back the tears, and searching for any words to say.

I was driving back to my grandparents house after celebrating my cousin Ryan's birthday party at my aunt's house. It was just my grandma (nama) and I in the car. And she was TALKING. I assure you that you have never met a lady that can chat more than this woman.

She loves. to. talk. Always has and probably always will. Her love of talking has increased since she started having some memory problems. Most of the time it's pretty entertaining and fun but for some reason that night I had just had enough.

I hate to say that I got impatient with her sweet little crazy soul, but I did.

I has resulted to "mmhmms" "yeahs" and head nods. I left the engaging, interested Allye at my aunts house.

That satisfied her though. She just kept on truckin'.

Ohhh the random things that come out of her mouth!

Something she said caught my attention though.

She said "boy! I am just SOOOOOO lucky" (if you have ever met my nam, you know that I am not exaggerating the SOOOOOOO because she looooves to carry ooooout her ooooooo's).

I asked her why she said that.

"Said what?" she asked.

"Why did you say that you're SOOOOO lucky, Nam?"

Then she proceeded to rock my world with a deepness that I didn't know she was still capable of.

She talked about how much she loves my grandad. She told me that he is her forever friend, forever love, forever everything.

Cue: lump in my throat, and welling up tears.

She went on to say "love like that makes every day better, no matter what happens in the day, he makes it better".

All I could do was drive, staring blankly at the road while trying not to blink because I knew the second my eyelid shut, the tears would come. I didn't want her to see me cry, because I knew it would confuse her.

I was thinking about how sweet and patient my grandad is with her. Even when she says the same thing or asks the same questions 50 times, he loves her and it's so evident.

He makes her days better.

She's right. She is lucky.

And I was reminded once more, so am I.

And that, my friends, is the story of how my nama made me cry.

Then and now

2011-03-23T20:56:00.007-05:00

Yep, I'm going from only doing Saturday Snapshots to two posts in one day. Don't get used to it, I just have a lot to talk about.

I got to hang out with my cousins some before I headed to new orleans and it was so fun to spend time with them. My grandparents have about a million and two pictures of all of us growing up. There is a huge built in bookshelf in their house specifically for photo albums starting in the late 60s and going until about 2009. We went through some albums while we were all in town.

It was so fun to look at and remember.

We laughed so much.

I loved getting to spend time with them. It's refreshing to remember happy times as a kid. We had some awesome adventures, even if half of them were imagined in our grandparent's backyard.

Bear with me as I reminisce, won't you?

Us then:

Um, could I magically be that tan in 3 months for my wedding, please? Seriously, I do not look like a white kid there.

buster was such a good sport.

Us now:

oh, and here are a couple examples of how my grandma thinks sunscreen should be applied. I remember getting older and learning that you're supposed to rub in sunscreen, not just glob it on your skin for "maximum protection". I guess this is coming from the lady who told us that marshmallows were going to come out of our ears if we watched too many cartoons, and not to swallow watermelon seeds because a watermelon tree (do those even exist?) will grow in our bellies, and that we'll become instantly blind if we look at the sun for longer than 3 seconds. HA.

Thanks for putting up with all of that. It was fun...for me.

Stay tuned for a story about how my grandma made me cry.

Preparing

2011-03-23T14:20:00.007-05:00

This part of life that I'm in is so weird sometimes.

I go to New Orleans and get these tiny tastes of what real life is going to be like in a couple of months and gracious, it's wonderful. Then I have to say goodbye, hold back tears through airport security, and come back to school only to begin counting down the days until I get to see him again.

It can get frustrating, yes. But one thing that I have really loved through all of this is the amount that I cherish Andrew and I's time together.

It's so fun to be together.

Seriously. It never gets old.

It's my favorite thing to do.

Andrew working on his fantasy baseball, while I watch.

I got a little sidetracked there...

Back to my point of how this season of life is strange.

I'm preparing for a wonderful life with the one I love, but at the same time having to focus on finishing my degree, find out what hospital I should work at, call about internships (which by the way, do not exist in NOLA), apply for jobs, and try and prepare to move away from all the familiarity Texas holds for me.

I'm not complaining at all. I truly could not be happier with where I am in life, and where I am going, I'm just sayin' that it's weird.

Preparing for a life that I have never really dreamt about coming true is strange.

I mean, hello, I'm getting married to the best man on earth on a freakin' boat off the coast of HAWAII. Tell me how I am supposed to believe that this is REAL?!

I'm getting to move to a fun, awesome, culture soaked city to be a nurse after I GRADUATE college in 45 days. I'm moving in with my best friend, who will then be my HUSBAND.

a pretty new orleans building.

pinch me.

It's all too good to be real.

But the really great part about it all is that it is real.

enjoying a gourmet popsicle in the quarter.

It's so real and it's so perfect.

Saturday Snapshot(s)

2011-03-19T11:01:00.006-05:00

I didn't intend for Saturday Snapshot to become my only blogging outlet, I just haven't had the chance to do much of anything else. I promise I'm coming back soon.

I have had such a great trip. Allie left on Thursday, which has left Andrew and I not sure what to do now that we don't have anyone to entertain. Thus, we have watched a lot of tv, made pizza, and eaten pb&j. We crammed as much New Orleans as we could into the 3 or so days Allie was here with us. It was so fun. I'll tell you more about it later, but here are a couple of snapshots of our great time (all consisting of allie with various new orleans food items):

Crabby Jacks.

Elizabeth's dream burger. Andrew and I want to move to the neighborhood where Elizabeths is, I'm concerned for our health if we make that move.

Cafe Du Monde.

Now I am laying on the couch drinking coffee with a stuffed up nose and sore throat watching Andrew ponder his fantasy baseball draft picks, or something like that.

Real life.

Loving it.

Saturday Snapshot(s)

2011-03-12T00:34:00.002-06:00

I'm on my way to new orleans with this beautiful gal,

to see this handsome fella!

Planning on thoroughly enjoying my last spring break ever. If you get a spring break, I hope you do the same. If not, well, I hope you enjoy your normal week. We'll eat some beignets for you.

Love.

Saturday Snapshot

2011-03-05T09:42:00.005-06:00

I was remembering when I used to do a weekly feature called "saturday love". It got too cumbersome though because it entailed so much writing. Maybe when I graduate from nursing school in 9 weeks I'll have more time to do such things, but for now I thought this idea that I got from yellow songbird blog would be really fun.

This is a picture from about a year ago this week, on Robyn and I's adventure of a lifetime to Costa Rica. This was one of my favorite times of the day in Costa Rica. Sitting on the beach watching the sunset and the people. I love that you can see their footprints in the sand, that they are both looking out at the beautiful ocean, and that the surfer closest to the water has a prosthetic leg! I didn't notice it until I got home from the trip and was looking at the photos more carefully. So awesome.

How this week has made me feel:

2011-03-04T14:43:00.002-06:00

Tidbits

2011-03-01T20:13:00.006-06:00

I like the word tidbits. It's fun and different and unique. I really don't hear it as much as I would like.

I just looked it up in the dictionary and according to my computer a tidbit is "a small piece of tasty food" or "a small particularly interesting item of gossip or information"

So, this blog title is misleading because what I'm about to write is neither of those things.

Just mere ramblings of a girl who misses her boy and has so much to do but doesn't want to do it.

That's all. Here we go...

Today I completed my first application for a real big girl nursing job. I applied for a labor & delivery position at one of the larger hospitals in New Orleans. It's scary and exciting at the same time. It's pretty far in advance so I'm not expecting much, but I at least feel like I've done something.

12 days until I'm in New Orleans with one of my best pals visiting Andrew for Spring Break. Both Andrew and I are SO very excited to show Allie New Orleans. I'm also very excited for a break from this madness.

I just baked some rockin' chocolate chip cookies. If you know me or have been reading my blog for an extended amount of time, you know I have a low cook-esteem so I'm not one to go around saying I made the best chocolate chip cookies EVER. But really, these were great. Slightly crispy on the outside and a little bit gooey on the inside. Anyway, I'm presenting my inservice to the nurses on my floor tomorrow and I needed a bribe tactic to get them into the break room. If there is anything I've learned from working at a hospital the past 2 years it's that nurses LOVE food. Cookies= people in the break room "paying attention" to me blabbing about surgical infection prevention.

Wedding planning together from a distance hasn't been too difficult for Andrew and I. Mostly because we're flying by the seat of our pants with a good portion of it, and also we're literally flying to Hawaii and getting married on a beach...how much planning is necessary for that? But the parts that we have had to plan have been interesting. Like shopping with Andrew for a shirt to wear via text...

I do not understand the boy sometimes. I love that the only reason he didn't want to try it on is because he didn't want to unfold it. Ha!

I also want to tell you that I got a text message about 5 minutes later that said "if i had to put that back together to save my life you would need to start planning a funeral instead of a wedding."

Ohhh Andrew.

Every time I get a bad attitude these days about school or being away from Andrew, my nursing family has been doing a heck of a job of reminding me that I need to be soaking up every second with this special community we've built. I'm really going to miss them. It's weird because we're not all best friends, most of don't hang out outside of class; but when we're together there is so much laughing and joy and it's just so much fun.

This week is my last week with my compadres on the ICU that have taught me so much. I'm not too sad to say goodbye because it means that I get to stop waking up at 4:30am. I am grateful for my time there though...it's flown by.

All in all, even though I complain about how I just want May to be here, it's going by so quickly.

I'll graduate in 65 days.

Get married in 112 days.

Move to New Orleans in 123 days.

Life is about to change a lot. I couldn't be more excited. But I keep needing to remind myself to soak this part in, too.

2011-02-26T21:32:00.002-06:00

I worked on the hospice unit today at work. I've worked there several times before and have gotten to know some of the patients. One of my favorite patients ever (I know that's not supposed to ever come out of a nurse's mouth, but I'm just being honest here) is a sweet old man with parkinsons disease. The first time I met him was when he needed some help putting on his sweatshirt. While I carefully lifted his frail arms into the arm holes he talked about his love of music. He spoke in a way that made me really understand how much he loved it. I mean, this guy loves his music. He told me about how he used to be a handsome young singer in a band and wanted to show me pictures but I didn't have the time to look.

He was disappointed but understood. I went back during my lunch break and he lit up, showed me countless pictures of the younger him.

He was handsome.

As we flipped through I learned about him, his lovely wife, and their cute babies. After my lunch break was over and I had to get back to work he went out and serenaded some of the other patients in the dining area.

That sweet man.

Today when I got my assignment I was so excited to see him. After taking report I went and knocked on his door.

All I could hear was music coming from the small radio propped up by his bed.

I walked in slowly and saw him staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Hey, stranger!" I said.

He looked and me and tried to speak but nothing came out. He moved his lips and strained his neck.

Nothing.

My heart broke.

Just 3 weeks ago this man was singing loudly in the dining room and now he cant speak.

I tried to ask him yes or no questions, but I think he was too confused to understand.

I saw one of the pictures he had shown me just weeks before. I picked it up and said "look at that handsome man and his pretty lady!"

He stared at it and closed his eyes.

I turned his music up a little, patted him on the shoulder and left the room

hoping he was dreaming of better days.

holgafun

2011-02-19T23:44:00.006-06:00

I got Andrew a holga camera for Christmas. We had fun taking pictures with it. I want to show you some of the results.

Andrew's dad found a cow skull!

sweet pooch.

It's so fun! I love the quality of the photos. So old and neat looking. I'm excited to take lots more pictures with it in the future.

In other news, a new Crosby graced the earth with her presence today.

Beautiful baby girl. Crosbys make such pretty babies.

Welcome, sweet Sophia Mae. We're glad you're here and we love you!

Day dreaming

2011-02-19T12:53:00.001-06:00

Even though my body is in Temple, TX studying on my couch, my mind is ^there dreaming about what is going to be one of the best days of my life.

I cannot wait.

It's going to be awesome.

Wonderfully unexpected

2011-02-17T21:10:00.005-06:00

4:30 am, my quiet phone alarm buzzes against my pillow. I hit snooze but get up before it goes off again because I'm afraid it will wake up Julie.

Shuffling into the kitchen to make coffee I rub my tired eyes begging them to stay open.

I put some instant oatmeal in the microwave and proceed with getting ready for a day.

This was my second week on my leadership rotation on the surgical ICU.

Finally there is some consistency to what I am doing. Oh how I love consistency.

I love walking onto the unit in the morning and saying "goodmorning ____" and having them return my sleepy hello. I'm loving the consistency. I'm making friends with the doctors, nurses, cath lab people, techs. Consistency rocks.

However, the day in the life of a nurse can usually be described as the opposite of consistent.

Most moments are unexpected.

Especially on the ICU.

I've seen several codes.

I've stood there wide eyed praying silently for God to make their heart start beating again.

Sometimes he does. Sometimes not.

No matter how much I plan my day, stuff happens. Traumas. Codes. Patients in emotional crisis.

This week was no exception.

For a person who loves consistency so much, this profession full of inconsistency sure does bring me so much joy.

Because not all the unexpected moments are patients leaving us.

There are ones that make come backs no one would have dreamed would happen.

Moments like quietly sitting with a crying 90 year old woman with a broken hip and a failing heart reminding her how strong she is. How beautiful she is.

Hearing a patients first words after being taken off the ventilator.

Seeing husbands comfort their sick wives by just being there.

Watching families gather around a hospital bed holding hands and praying.

In these unexpected moments I take a deep breath, fill my lungs, and say thanks to the one who orchestrates it all.

Consistency is nice but there is beauty in the unexpected.

Valentine

2011-02-15T15:55:00.005-06:00

Valentines day is such a great holiday.

I hear so much blah blah blah from people hating on it because of "it's just an excuse for hallmark to make money..to sell chocolate..blah blah blah".

That's not how I see it.

It's a day dedicated to showing love. How in the world can that be bad?

Yesterday I spent probably around 3/4ths of the day dreaming of future valentines day. I'm all for living for the present, but yesterday the future seemed much more desirable.

I thought about how I would make a cute multi colored heart garland at the end of January, and hang it in our living room. Then probably leave it there for a few months, just cause.

Source

I dreamt of waking up early to make my sweetie and I heart shaped pancakes.

Source

I decided that I would fill up bowls of conversation hearts. (oh, wait. that actually happened)

Source

My mind wandered to making handmade valentines with my littles for their friends.

Source

I couldn't stop thinking of ways to make next year special.

Source

It was fun.

When I wasn't in dreamland I had fun, too! Kinda. My capstone group went on a valentines day lunch date to discuss our project.

I sat through 2.5 hours of invigorating discussion about texas nursing legislature at the texas nursing association district 7 meeting. Fluffy delicious valentines day cookies were provided though, so that made it all worth it...gosh those cookies...so good.

I drew this for Andrew during the meeting.

After the meeting I went on a double date to eat sushi with 3 of my beautiful nursing friends.

I stuffed myself silly with fish. Oh boy, it was goooood.

Overall it was a special day. Even if all I would have done was dream about the future it would have been special.

Just because thats how love is.

It makes days happy and full of special-ness.

Home is wherever I'm with you

2011-02-13T22:08:00.004-06:00

A while back Andrew and I decided that if we ever have a tv show about us this would be our theme song.

Since the chance of us having a tv show isn't extremely great (I mean, anything is possible but I'm just being realistic here) I've decided to just go ahead and make it our theme song anyway.

Home is wherever I'm with you.

I love that.

It's true.

Happy valentines day.

Show someone some love.

2 months ago today

2011-02-09T17:29:00.008-06:00

Will it get old if I remind you guys every month of how many months its been since the favorite day of my life happened?

I hope not. Because it's so fun to remember. I still have the butterflies and the sliding down rainbows feeling. I really don't think it's going to go away.

It's been 2 months since Andrew asked me to be his wife.

Oh, boy. Time has flown by. It can keep on flyin' too because I cannot wait.

Anyway, I'm way too excited. And that's all I have to say about that.

You know what else I'm excited about? A few things:

Leslie made a surprise visit. It was so good to see this beautiful face:

We got another "snow day". It's actually just a whole bunch of ice...a whole bunch. My dedicated nursing friends and I traveled for 2 hours to Hillcrest this morning only to get there and find out that our faculty didn't show...so we made the trek back. It was so cold. SO. COLD. I had to put gas in the car, but the little gas door thingy was sealed shut with ice. I carefully walked into the gas station and got a cup of hot water...which did the trick. BUT, the wind was blowing so hard that it blew the gas pump out of the car. It was crazy. The wind was so cold that it made my whole body hurt. I got back in the car and screamed for a few seconds.

That turned into quite the tangent. Mostly I was just trying to tell you that I'm excited to have the day off.

Oh, also. Andrew visits TOMORROW. Perfect timing for our 2 month engagaversary.

Yeah, it's cheesy.

I'm okay with that.

2011-02-04T16:49:00.003-06:00

Today is one of those days where being apart from the one that I like the most in life is really really hard.

I know that in a short 132 days I'll get to be with him forever, but that's not making it easier today.

It's partly due to the fact that I'm an emotional girl who misses her fiancé, but also because this is a day that I can imagine spending with him, and loving every moment.

I'm tired of doing it like this, and I voice that quite frequently to the patient one on the other end of the phone probably thinking "well, what do you want me to do about it?". He always responds sweetly and assuringly. And then I remind myself to cherish these moments.

Cherishing these moments can be hard, most of the time it's not because I'm surrounded by so many people that I love, and love me back so very well. It's just hard some days, like today.

So, I'm choosing to cherish them because I know that these days are going to be sweet memories someday soon. Memories of endurance and patience. Memories of counting down the days until we get to see each other again. (6! in case you were wondering).

I hope when we get to be together all the time our time is just as sweet as it is when we get to be together now.

Because, man, it's so great.

I'm super in love with this guy.

Snow day...for real!

2011-02-04T09:21:00.005-06:00

Last night around 9:15 I was at my friend's apartment working on fun school work when we hear boys running around yelling like banshees (When it snows at UMHB, if an outsider came in they might wonder if they had come to a "special college" where they let in "special people". People loose their minds at the sight of snow). Anyway, I pull myself away from the invigorating work of my professional portfolio to look out the window to see what's going on. Guess what I see?

Beautiful little white flakes falling from the sky!

Oh, it was a marvelous sight.

I drove home, watched some Grey's with Juju and went to bed (I was so tired yesterday due to the aforementioned coffee ice-cream situation).

This is what I woke up to:

REAL snow. At least a few inches. It's so pretty.

Julie made french toast for breakfast and mmmmm it was deeeelicious.

Today is going to be a pajamas, movies, and coffee kind of day. I'm going to forget about everything I have due on Monday and go into this magical little world where it snows and people don't have to work or go to school.

Hope you have snow much fun today!

EDIT:

Snow day??

2011-02-03T01:12:00.004-06:00

Tonight while Becca and I were working on our professional portfolio I got a serious craving for ice cream.

It's 16 degrees outside, and I am one of the most cold natured people on the planet.

Don't ask me why I was craving ice cream. Crazy things happen in life sometimes.

Anyway, we went to walgreens and I got some coffee ice cream. It was delicious.

All of that was to explain why I'm up at 1:15 typing a blog post.

Coffee ice cream.

Today UMHB closed down the campus because of rolling power outages. However our nursing class got the privilege to stay until 4:30pm reviewing NCLEX questions. Campus was deserted, and we were left in the dark learning about the kaplan "decision tree".

We made the best out of circumstances:

Please take a moment to really look at those pictures. See all the crowns?

Any time during the monotonous 8 hour class that I started feeling like slamming my head through the wall I would just look around and smile.

It was UMHB's birthday today and (before the entire campus closed) they were serving taquitos and cupcakes by candle light in the SUB.

There was also a clown making balloon hats in the dark...not really something you encounter every day. Or something you would necessarily WANT to encounter EVER.

Anyway, they were giving out crowns, and balloon accessories. So our class took advantage.

And I am so glad.

Happy ~~snow day,~~

~~ice day,~~

~~black out day,~~

Normal boring day of class!

Allllll Aboard!

2011-01-30T15:41:00.002-06:00

I've hopped back on the procrastination train.

Choo Choo!

While I'm chugging right along I'll tell you about the exciting weekend I had.

First of all, it's 79 degrees right now. The end of January. And it's supposed to maybe snow this week.

I love Texas.

AND...drumroll please...I found a wedding dress! I wish I could show you, but then Andrew would see it and that wouldn't be any fun. It's beautiful though. Almost exactly what I was dreaming of..but better. It's perfect and I can't wait to wear it in June. Who knew that a hole in the wall bridal store called "bridal dreams" (can it get any cheesier? I think not) would be where I found THE dress? It was a diamond in the rough, and that makes it so much more fun.

This train needs to move on to Studyville.

Peace.

Ran-dumb

2011-01-28T09:54:00.004-06:00

This week of school has been, dare I say it, kind of fun. Minus the three tests we took Monday and the panic that ensued throughout my poor estrogen filled class after them. We've gotten out early several times and had the opportunity to sleep in twice. The reason I say opportunity instead of "we GOT to sleep in twice" is because my body no longer understands the concept of sleeping in. It's quite sad, but I automatically wake up at 7:30 or 8:00.

Katie and I went shopping for business attire this week and it was fun. On our way back at a stop light a lady in a big van was waving and yelling at me to roll down my window. I did. I thought maybe I cut her off and she was mad so I prepared myself for "so sorry ma'am, you have beautiful hair..." but to my surprise she yelled "WHERE'S THE LUBY'S?!?!" Ohh man, it was funny.

On Wednesday we dressed up for our mock interview day. Everyone looked so nice. I've never introduced you to my family. Here they are looking all spiffy in front of our home:

It's fun and scary thinking about graduating and going to interviews. I think in our profession it's important to have a good amount of fear in you. If you're too confident, someone is going to get the wrong medicine and end up dead.

I'm going shopping for my wedding dress tomorrow. Talk about crazy.

I'm very excited.

Oh also, Robyn and I found out that our favorite blogger Matt is going to be in Austin in April doing a book signing for his new book Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love. SO excited to make this dream of being a complete creeper and meeting these strangers that I like a lot in real life.

Alright well I have completed my randomness quota for the month.

Happy Friday!

Procrastination hits an all time low

2011-01-24T16:39:00.004-06:00

I procrastinate. It's a problem that I've had for a long, long time.

When I have a project due, or a test coming up I find myself cleaning. Not just an oh I'm going to vacuum the living room because there is dog hair everywhere type of cleaning, but a crazy, scrubbing everything in sight, vacuuming the couch and chairs type of cleaning. Insane. I also cook. Straighten my hair. Try on clothes I haven't worn in a while. Peruse facebook. Read blogs.

It's bad.

Today though, it got really bad.

My procrastination hit rock bottom.

I had just worked out (yet another way to procrastinate) and was in my bathroom getting ready to shower (and again, more procrastinating...seeing a trend here?). All of a sudden I thought "man, i could use a change in my hair" (here comes more procrastination). I got out the scissors, held out my hair for what I thought was going to be a minor trim.

I actually thought "I'm going to cut them where they are still long, so if I don't like it too much it wont matter..."

False.

I cut.

Looked in the mirror.

And terror set in.

I laughed. So hard. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know how that happened. I was only going to cut like half an inch.

Not so much. More like 4 inches.

Mind you, I will not wear my hair like that. So if we're being real, this is how it actually looks:

Which in my opinion isn't SO bad. I mean, it's not cute by any means, and if my wedding weren't 5 months away I would totally be freaking out right now and frantically looking into how much hair extensions cost. Personally, the saddest part of this picture for me is the fact that my grey hairs that I grew during that abominable last semester show up.

I guess I've become lax about my hair ever since I chopped it all of a little over a year ago.

It grows. I've said that at least 20 times to myself in the past 2 hours.

If I get any crazy self hair cutting ideas around June, I give all of you my full permission to steal my scissors, and remind me of this day where procrastination led me to make some ugly decisions.

Now that I've fed my bad habit more by writing a blog post instead of reading for tomorrow's test, I guess I've used up all of my outlets.

Farewell,

the girl with really short bangs

Things I'm liking these days

2011-01-20T10:32:00.004-06:00

-The fact that Andrew and I booked our plane ticket for Hawaii this week. Pinch me please, because I need to wake up from this amazing dream where I get married in paradise.

-Soups. I have had this strange craving for soups lately. But not just any kind of soup; tortilla soup. It might be because my stomach has been a little on the sensitive side lately, or because it's cold, or just because soup is delicious. Either way, the past two weeks I have made 3 different versions of tortilla soup. My friends make fun of me for this. I tell them that each soup has a different name, therefore it's a different soup. Fiesta soup, mexican soup, tortilla soup, yummy soup...and the list could go on and on. One more plus- soup is cheap and portable! I can make a batch of soup on monday and take it to school to eat for lunch for the rest of the week. Amazing.

-Saving our mannequin's life during our simulation yesterday. There is nothing like doing CPR, defibrillating, and then hearing that monitor start to beep beep beep again. Such a beautiful noise.

-Fire. Julie and I made a fire in our fireplace before she left for her cruise and it was so great. I enjoy everything about it. The fact that we can turn off our heater and save $ for 4 hours, the crackly sound, the golden color that shines in the room. Mmmm. So good.

-Anticipation. Sometimes anticipation kills people. I however, am enjoying the excitement of expectation. My friend Katie asked me this week "how in the world are you going to concentrate this semester knowing that you're going to be in Hawaii getting married in 5 months?" I told her that it's easy because I know in 5 months a lot of things are going to change for me. I'm soaking up this time where I have to study, spend absurd amounts of time hanging out with the same people every day, and not having a full time job. I'm also really enjoying the excitement of browsing the internet for hours looking at wedding dresses, reception dresses, and fun things to on our honeymoon. Anticipation is just fun. So fun.

-This song/video:

It's one of the sweetest songs I've ever heard. He's such a great story teller.

-Remembering this day, 6 weeks ago:

Well apparently I'm liking a lot of things these days.

Thanks for tuning in.

2011-01-18T16:12:00.001-06:00

Click here . Read it, and sign to change.

It's so very important.

2011-01-17T10:56:00.003-06:00

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” -MLK Jr.

2011-01-16T21:59:00.004-06:00

It's been a snuggling by the fireplace with hot tea kind of weekend. Cold and rainy with nothing pressing to do. And boy, after last week I've needed it.

One week down, fifteen more to go! If all goes as planned I'll graduate in 110 days.

The first week was long. That's really all I have to say about it.

Actually, one more thing- I applied through the Board of Nursing to take my board exams, which was kind of exciting. I almost wrote "really exciting" but then remembered how much it cost, which decreases the excitement level considerably. Either way, it makes me one step closer to becoming a real nurse. Crazy times.

Not much else to report here. I'm sleepy because the past two nights I've decided it was a good idea to drink caffeinated tea right before bed, which has then kept me awake past 2am. I have successfully perused the anthropologie website a good 10 times. What a gorgeous waste of time that was.

I'll leave you with this picture, which needs absolutely no explanation at all.

Happy MLK day from the happiest dog on the planet.

Cheers to you, 2011

2011-01-15T00:02:00.004-06:00

So here we are, two weeks into 2011 and I haven't written my new years post.

It's kind of been looming over my head. I've been feeling the need to sit down and reflect on this year, but every time I've started my mind raced somewhere else. Andrew and I kicked off the New Year with some of my favorite friends in Ft. Worth, then headed to New Orleans for some quality time together. Getting back from New Orleans right before school started left my mind scrabbling to get settled, organized, and ready for the monumental last semester. So, there's my excuse for waiting until January 14th to sit down and write.

After typing the word monumental just a second ago I stopped and looked at it, then whispered it a few times. Kenzie looked up at me from her warm cozy place by the fire and gave me this "you're insane" look, which then prompted me to quit talking to myself.

All that to say--typing monumental struck a chord with me.

Because that's really what 2010 was, and what 2011 will be.

I can't possibly type the right enough words to express the happiness I have in me.

I can remember laying in bed as a teenager wondering where God was going to take me, and what was going to happen to my life.

My dreams never placed me in these moments that I'm living now. I didn't even know to dream that big. I hadn't yet grasped what love was.

It sounds silly, I know. How can anyone not understand what love is? But believe me, I've been there. I'm not writing this with the intention of making you feel sorry for me, because it's not always a sad and lonely place to be. In fact, because I had a very vague concept of what love meant I didn't really even know I was missing out on much. I think this is why I catch myself almost every new year thinking and writing about love. I really believe it's because of where I started. Every new year that comes, that word means something a little bit different to me than it did last year, it's always deeper too. It's been a slow journey of learning how relationships with people can help you understand God's love, but also deter you from it. I have many examples of both in my life. It's hard for my inflexible brain to wrap around the concept of God's love and grace; it always will be. But the point is, for me, love is always becoming more meaningful. That's huge. Monumental, even.

2010 was no different. 2010 was a year full of love. Meaningful love.

I'm not just writing about love because of recent events (engagement). While that was indeed a very, ahem, monumental event in my life, what's really significant are the moments leading up to that moment where he knelt down and told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Falling in love, learning how to love, and learning how to be loved has been so magnificent. Love was healing in 2010.

Love taught me how to forgive, and look at the good.

Love brought substantial amounts of comfort. This significant kind of comfort that really did me a lot of good.

Love made the bitter sweet.

Love means more to me than it did last year.

See? Told you- monumental.

I have a hunch that I'm going to learn a whole new meaning of love in 2011, too.

I'm excited to see how God teaches me more about his love through being married to Andrew.

It's an exciting adventure, this life we live.

I'm kind of glad that my dreams never put me in these moments that I'm living. I'm glad I didn't even know to dream this big, this good. Because the greatness of these moments, the vastness of this ever growing love keeps taking me by surprise and knocking me off my feet in disbelief. A disbelief that tells me it just can't get any better.

And then it does.

2010 in pictures

2011-01-06T21:52:00.012-06:00

Introducing the 2nd annual year in pictures post. Here's last year.

January

Luke & Kelsey got engaged in our living room. And I took this weird picture of Allie. Allie was weird in January. And all year.

February

I spent my first mardi gras in New Orleans. It was soooo cold. Then I came back to Texas and it snowed a whole bunch. Oh, and I almost broke my back.

March

Chelsea and Dominick got married, and it was beautiful. I also went on the adventure of a lifetime with Robyn to Costa Rica.

April

I ate my first crawfish and had such a happy birthday.

May

A bunch of great friends graduated. It was sad and happy. Kels & Luke got married, which was such a sweet day.

June

One of my all time best friends of all time, Monica got married. It was so fun to spend that day with her and Danielley.

July

We had a super fun time celebrating Julie's birthday in Houston. A sweet moment with new cousin Brady gave me one more reason to add to the long list of reasons why I want to marry Andrew. I also got to visit some adorable friends in Georgia, Danielle, Lance, Jameson and Mae.

August

I started my last year of college.

September

Lindsey and Luke had the prettiest wedding I have ever been to. I also wore heels by choice for the first time. Big day.

October

October was a pretty uneventful month. I think I was pretty busy with school. I did manage to to squeeze in some time to take this hilarious picture of Andrew while we were video chatting. I love that the computer glitch looks like multicolored smoke coming out of his nose.

For halloween Maddie and I sat on the porch and gave a bunch of kids candy. This magician was amazing.

November

Robyn and I went to a Brooke Fraser concert in Austin and it was amazing. Thanksgiving with Andrew was so wonderful.

December

By far the happiest month of the year. My best friend asked me to be his wife, and then we got to spend christmas together. Couldn't ask for anything better.

fun family tradition of surfing the little ones, our sri lankan visitor wasn't too sure about it though. Also, go back to last year and see how much the babies have grown...i'm not sure how much longer the tradition can continue with Simon.

What a wonderful year it was.

Happy 2011!

2010-12-20T19:26:00.004-06:00

It's going to be hard to follow up that last post, since it was the happiest day of my life so far, but I'll try.

Being engaged is wonderful. Because I worked all last week I didn't get to wear my ring. Well, I actually chose not to wear it because of what my job entails at times. I would put it on and stare at it the second I got home though. Andrew and I both agree that there are times where we remember "ohhh wow, we're engaged!", and while I can't speak for both of us, I know when that happens to me I can't stop smiling for about 5 minutes. I can't describe how special and blessed I feel that he chose me. It's pretty darn wonderful. I'm very excited for June.

Work was pretty dull last week. I did get to work in the ER one day and that was exciting. There was a car wreck about 50 feet away from the ER doors that day, no one was seriously hurt (besides the demolished bus stop) so I found it okay to laugh at how great it was that someone got in a car wreck right outside of an ER.

I went to Houston this weekend with Julie. We went to Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God concert (if you have never heard of this please do yourself a favor and click on that link, and listen now). It was such an awesome concert...I can't wait to go again someday! I loved it. Julie and I spent the rest of the weekend in Houston. Spent time with her family (love them), and I got to meet a bunch of her friends from home. It was a good time.

Now I'm back at our cozy apartment listening to Christmas music and wrapping presents with our balcony door open because it's 65 degrees outside in December. Insane, but I'll take it.

I love that little tree back behind me there. Last year it stayed up in our house until March, when the Grinch (allie) decided to take it down while we were all at school/work. Here it is last year...also look how short my hair was!

Tonight is my last night in the apartment until after Christmas so I'm soaking up the soft glow and cool breeze. By this time tomorrow night I'll be in Cleburne waiting for Andrew to pull up from New Orleans. By this time next year I'll be sitting my the tree with my husband. Eeeee!!

I hope you have a very happy Christmas. Remember why we celebrate...and celebrate that with joy in your heart!

The most perfect moment

2010-12-14T17:00:00.007-06:00

A lot has happened since I have last written to you, the dear blogging world. Prepare yourself for a loooong post.

When I wrote that last post on the morning of Andrew's birthday, December 9th, I had no idea that later that day I would be engaged to him.

That's right, we're engaged!

I could go on and on about how happy I am, how I feel like I'm floating on a cloud, or sliding down a rainbow, or something else totally cheesy (but true) like that. I still get butterflies thinking about seeing him kneel down and and tell me sweet words about how he wants to live life with me and love me forever, and I don't think they will ever stop. Everything in that moment was perfect.

Julie, my very sneaky roommate, called me while I was napping to tell me that she had a really hard day and came to have a moment at the park and locked her keys in her car. She asked me to come get her and take her to the apartment to get a spare key. So I rolled out of bed, put on some jeans and obliviously drove to the spot where I would get engaged. Here's a picture of the sneaky people themselves waiting for me to show up:

After he proposed (and I said yes) we hugged for a while, mostly so I could convince myself that I wasn't dreaming. I told him that he was so sneaky and he said "so are they..." We turned around and his parents were there snapping pictures.

I feel so grateful to be entering such a wonderful, loving family.

We celebrated at Stagecoach Inn, a cute little restaurant in Salado, spent some time with Andrew's aunt and uncle in Temple, and then hung out with Julie at our apartment. It was the best evening of my life so far.

My sweet fiance (can't figure out how to put the accent over the e) helped me move into my new apartment on Friday, and then on Saturday my soul friend, Robyn (you can find her here and here and here and here) took some engagement pictures of us. I love them, and have to show a few of them off...

Robyn, thank you so much! Everyone needs to go click on those first two links and check her amazingness out.

Alright, massive post is coming to an end. Thank you for reading.

Until next time,

Engaged Allye

Happy birthday!

2010-12-09T08:39:00.006-06:00

Happy birthday to my favorite person in the whole wide world!

Thank you for making the world a brighter place, love.

Now for some old and new pictures of the birthday boy himself:

Check out that hair and beard! Intense.

Now check out THIS hair. Intense.

I could keep going, but I'm sure it's getting old. "Getting old" is probably not an appropriate thing to say in a birthday post.

Anyway, happy birthday Andrew!

I love you.

OH HAPPY DAY

2010-12-08T19:12:00.002-06:00

I passed this semester! OHHH my. If I could bottle this type of joy and give it away for Christmas I totally would because it's fantastic. My study pals Bryn and Katie passed too, which makes the happiness even more magnificent.

We're graduating in 5 months. (!!!)

I've been dancing to this song today:

So happy this long, frustrating, incredibly hard, pretty much awful semester is over.

Dream land

2010-12-07T10:48:00.005-06:00

I've been having really weird dreams lately.

Well, actually they have been quite normal. And that is weird for me.

Okay, let me explain...

My dreams are always crazy, unexplainable, and just plain weird. I usually remember them, and sometimes even apply them to my life. Last night when Andrew and I were talking he used an analogy referencing one of my past crazy dreams, I just went along with it for a while and then realized we were speaking in "Allye dreamland language". It was fun. Anyway, I have crazy dreams.

But lately my dreams have been very normal (which is weird to me). I've been having these dreams that when I wake up I can't remember if it was reality or dream. I had a dream that my friend Chelsea wrote on Andrew's wall "hey! we need to hang out over christmas!". The next day I was on facebook and remembered that so I went to Andrew's wall to comment on it something like "hey! I'm your friend!! but i'm glad you want to hang out with Andrew..." and come to find, it didn't exist.

I have had to start many conversations lately like this: "Okay, so I don't know if this was a dream or not, but..."

Frankly, it was getting old and confusing.

I attribute it to stress. (?) Because I had my first non-reality dream last night!!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SEMESTER! I still don't have my grades, so who knows, I could've failed. But nevertheless, I'm DONE until January.

Shhh- listen, you can hear the angels singing.

So, I dreamt a weird dream. I woke up after it SO excited. The dream was Andrew and I were at his parents house. He was wearing these metal baseball cards as necklaces (extra weird dream detail- all the player's faces were punched out) when in disgust he realized they were dirty. He asked me to clean them, but specified "only clean their feet". Well, I thought that was absurd. Why would I just clean the metal baseball players feet?! I'll clean the WHOLE metal baseball card. Well as I cleaned, Andrew noticed what I was doing and he got very angry, snatched them away, and told me that he would get his mom to do it because she knows how to do it THE RIGHT WAY. I was a little upset, but it didn't last for long because then my dream transitioned into me at Pioneer Woman's house learning how to make bread. It smelled like the Mrs. Baird's factory in there, and it was glorious. Andrew didn't get to come with me to Pioneer Woman's house because he was busy monitoring the metal baseball card cleaning, but I'm sure if he did he would have looked like this:

Ah, it feels to good to be weird again.

Also, Nacho (the cutest dog on the planet) wants to wish you all a Merry Christmas:

Yet another countdown post

2010-12-05T10:38:00.003-06:00

Because I enjoy these so much:

-1 (ONE) day until this semester is OVER

-4 days until I'm done with RA duties

-5 days until I move in with Ju!

-16 days until I'm done working and ready to celebrate Christmas

-19 days until CHRISTMAS

-35 days until my LAST semester of college begins. This also means around 34 days of no school time. Magical.

-152 days until graduation.

Do not fear.

2010-12-02T22:43:00.003-06:00

Our first real final is tomorrow. This is echoing in my mind:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

To: December

2010-11-30T19:30:00.005-06:00

Wow December,

How did you get here so fast? I really do feel like you were just here in some ways, and in other ways it feels so long ago.

I really like you, December. Your chilly weather, hats, scarves, sweaters. Pretty lights. Christmas music. So much giving, happiness, love. The joy of remembering the birth of our Savior.

You're just incredible.

Tonight we decorated the lobby for Christmas. I also attended my last RA meeting ever. I'm going to miss these crazies a whole heck of a lot...

The only bad thing you bring sweet December, are finals. And even those are kind of good, but only because they mark the end.

Thank goodness for the end.

In 5 days I will be done with this semester.

5 months away from graduating.

See- you bring a lot to look forward to, buddy. And for that, I thank you.

Thanks for being so awesome, December.

Much love from your number one fan,

Allye

Thankful

2010-11-23T00:15:00.003-06:00

In the spirit of continuing last year's thankful post, and continuing to remember and reflect on what I have to be grateful for, here are 10 things that I'm thankful for this year.

(If you click on the link to last year's post, don't expect this year to be much different and exciting. Not much in my life has changed in a year.)

1. That Christ sought me and bought me. I'm thankful for the price Jesus paid to cleanse me from my sin and make me holy and righteous. I'm thankful for how that love, that comfort, that security has changed my life. I'm thankful to be His.

2. Andrew. I'm not going to get as mushy as last year. All those things are still so very true, if not even more than they were; but I just don't see the need to put you through the mushiness. Basically though, I've learned things this year about love that I never dreamed of learning. It's crazy how loving someone so much, and being loved back can heal, and teach. Thankful. That word just doesn't seem like enough. It doesn't do what I feel justice, but it will do.

3. Julie. My sweet, sweet Julie bean, Juju, mama, Jules. If I were to start typing about all the times I've been thankful for her this year I may be able to write a book. I can't wait to live with this girl again. I enjoy every minute we have together, and the next 5 months are going to be bliss.

4. RAs. This semester has been INSANE. If you know have talked to me, or any of the other Burt RAs, you know this is not a understatement. Through all the craziness though, the 6 other women that help run this place have been my backbone. Christi, Sarah, Maddie, Lauren, Meghan, and Jayelyn have helped me learn what the word team really means. I can't say that I'm going to miss it all that much, but I definitely will miss them.

5. Nursing family. Last year I was thankful for nursing school as a whole. I'm finding it a little harder to muster up the gusto to say I'm thankful for nursing school this year. Probably because I feel like I've been hanging on for dear life this whole semester. This semester I had my first "nursing school breakdown", you know, the one I swore would never happen to me. This semester officially took my nursing school toughness away. However, even though I may not be as thankful for nursing school as a whole at this point in my journey, I am increasingly thankful for the people who have walked this road with me. I love them. All 52 of them. And I can't wait to celebrate with ALL of them in May.

6. Friends and relationships that aren't changed by time or distance. This year I find myself separated from more of my friends that I am close to. I have loved learning how to do friendship this way. Just seeing each other every couple of months. You would think it would be hard, but it's not really. The second I hug my friend that I haven't seen in months it's like we've been hanging out every day again.

7. Hardy Hall. This may take a few of you by surprise because Hardy gets a lot of smack talk about it's food (which most of the time I think is heavenly). Okay, so maybe heavenly is a bit of an exaggeration, but I still love it. It's been so nice to be able to walk next door and have a hot, yummy, prepared dinner waiting to be eaten. I think it takes a year of fending for yourself food wise to appreciate this one.

8. Great friends that are here. I didn't write number 6 in hopes to make all my friends here close to me feel lousy, because Lord knows how thankful I am for them! Nothing but thankfulness fills my heart when I think about the friendships I've made living here the past 4 years. I always have somewhere to go, and someone to talk to. I'm so glad Robyn still lives close. I love that I live in the same building as a few of my favorite people. I'm grateful that there's a campus full of (mostly) sweet people surrounding me. I have learned so much from making friends with women who are older than me and in completely different stages of life, being godly wives, raising little souls. That alone has grown me up, and taught me more about life and living than I could have learned sticking in my comfortable bubble.

9. My job. As crazy as it may be, I love it. I have learned SO much from this job. Mostly how to be relational to people who are not like me AT ALL. Before I started working at the VA, I probably would have considered that one of my strengths. That was before I met the veterans. They have taught me what assertiveness really means, or at least how necessary it is for survival in the nursing profession. Especially among old men who are used to being tough, independent, stubborn, and sometimes just plain crazy. Robyn has accused the VA of making me a "mean nurse" a few times. While I don't think I'm mean (unless of course you try to blow vomit in my face...which is a story for another day), the VA has made me a whole lot more assertive. That's my "take home lesson" (as Dr. Sapp would say) from the VA. Assertiveness is key. I've learned lots of other important lessons from the (sometimes) sweet, crazy, stubborn men that I will carry with me always. And of course the funny stories. I'm thankful for those, too.

10. Family. It's everywhere. The meaning of family is so vast for me. Vast in a beautiful way that has me thanking God every day for the love I've received through his people.

Wow. Sorry I got so long winded.

I'm sure you're thankful that all this thankfulness is over.

Oh, but guess what, there's more...

...I'm thankful for you.

even if you are a blog stalker. (i'm honored)

Psalm 100

2010-11-21T15:52:00.002-06:00

A Psalm for giving thanks.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

Serve the Lord with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

Know that, the Lord, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.

Sapphire rings and onion rings

2010-11-18T11:42:00.005-06:00

You may or may not have heard that Prince William got engaged to that really beautiful girl with awesome hair up there named Kate. Sooo, I guess she's actually "Future Princess Kate" and not just really beautiful girl with awesome hair Kate.

I don't really keep up with what's going on in the world so I didn't know until yesterday morning when Andrew was sitting in the DFW airport (probably half asleep watching the news) at 5 in the morning. Why do I assume he was watching the news? Well, airports always have the news on. And, the only other way Andrew would know or care about this information was if it was on sports center or the Daily Show with John Stewart...which I don't think they play in the airport except maybe in those crummy looking random airport sports bars, which I don't think are open at 5am.

Anyway that's kind of beside the point, or not the point at all actually. I get this text from him:

Andrew: Did you see the ring Prince William gave to his fiance? Thats what I was gonna get you but he pulled rank on me..."oh i'm the prince" and whatnot.

Me: Ha. I didn't see it. But I believe you.

Andrew: Yep. It was princess Diana's. Huge blue sapphire with diamonds around it.

Me: Oh wow. Eh, well I'm glad you didn't get me that. :)

Andrew: Ha. Yeah. I mean come on. It's used.

Me: For real! I have much higher standards than that Andrew!

Want to know something else funny?

When I google searched for a picture of the ring this is one of the pictures that showed up:

A gigantic sapphire AND gluten-free onion rings?! Future Princess Kate is one lucky gal.

I don't know how to title this post (that's how interesting it is!)

2010-11-12T19:37:00.004-06:00

It has been a really productive day. I still have so much to do, but because I've been productive I'm allowing myself to blog.

I crossed two really big things off of my to-do sticky note on my computer. Really, I just highlighted them and pressed 'delete', which by the way is not nearly as rewarding as scribbling a line through it, but it still felt good.

I am sick. Again.

I know, ridiculous right? I agree.

I've been feeling it coming on for the past few days so I loaded up on vitamin c, tried to get extra sleep and drink more water than usual, but I guess my sad little immune system couldn't beat it.

Katie put up with all my hacking and gasping for breaths today and we finished our research project AND psych project.

Bam! Take that sickness!

I'm glad Katie and I have each other. She's the best study buddy in the whole wide world.

Now I'm sitting on my bed listening to Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God cd (it's not too early. PS- if you don't have this in your Christmas repertoire, you must get it, asap. or at least after thanksgiving), sipping on hot chocolate, trying to convince myself to read about depression, eating disorders, personality disorders, and bi-polar disorder. Sounds like a fun evening, huh?

Speaking of Christmas music. (I know, this is completely random) Look at this way too cute to be true wrapping paper from Antropologie:

I'm horrible at wrapping presents, but I always try really hard to make them look cute, and it's one of my goals in life to get better. These sent me over the edge. A present that is wrapped pretty is just so much more fun. Maybe I'll get creative this year.

I love this time of year.

Besides finals.

2 more tests and I'm Thanksgiving bound! With so much to be thankful for.

2010-11-11T19:51:00.002-06:00

What a great evening.

Brooke Fraser, you're amazing.

Things to be happy about

2010-11-09T17:12:00.003-06:00

I promise I'll write again. It may not be until Christmastime, but it will happen. Until then, bullets are my blog's go-to best friend.

-I took my last test (besides the final) in my Care of the Critically Ill class today and am (by the amazing grace of God) passing! I'm still going to have to do pretty dang well on this final, but it feels so very doable. Grateful.

-Tomorrow after 13 hours at the hospital I will get to see my favorite artist of the moment, Brooke Fraser in concert with my soul friend. So very, very excited.

-Just a mere 14 days left until Thanksgiving break. Happy for many reasons.

-I have great classmates that make me smile in the most frustrating moments of our journey together. I love my nursing fam. Couldn't do it without them.

-It's chilly. Not too hot and not too cold. I wore a short sleeved t-shirt and a knitted hat today, nothing quite like fall in Texas.

-Andrew is in Hawaii. Why does this make me happy? I'm not really sure. I guess because I like him quite a lot and I know he's happy, and it makes me happy to think about him being happy in Hawaii. Plus, being happy with him is a whole lot better than being jealous that I'm not with him. Ha. Complicated happiness.

-Tomorrow is Wednesday, which means this week is half over, and then I'll one week closer to graduating college.

Hallelujah.

One of those countdown posts

2010-11-02T00:10:00.004-05:00

It's pouring down rain. I'm sitting in the RA office trying to come up with ways to keep myself from falling asleep.

One more hour.

More importantly, only 4 more weeks of duty.

Speaking of things I'm looking forward to...

21 days until Thanksgiving break.

34 days until my last final exam. Ever. (!) So crazy. I mean, we'll have tests next year but no finals...just NCLEX prep. JUST NCLEX, the biggest test of my life. No biggie.

that last one also counts for 34 days until the end of the semester.

Which also means 38 days until the dorm closes. Goodbye crazy girls!

And 39 days until I move in with Julie and our furry friend Kenz again (excited!)

Then a big ole break of working and hanging out with Andrew and family.

69 days until my LAST SEMESTER of college begins.

Jump forward a few months...

139 days until Spring Break. I know it's lame that I'm already looking forward to it, but I can't help it, it's my favorite break. The best memories happen on Spring Break. Plus, it's my last break as a college student. It will be wonderful. No matter what.

156 days until I'm double deuce. Old.

And the most exciting of them all.....(drumroll please)....

185 days until GRADUATION!!!

Happy Halloween

2010-10-30T14:26:00.009-05:00

We never carved pumpkins in my family. I think my grandparents were sure that we would kill one another, and we probably would. So we painted pumpkins. We also wore huge old t-shirts.

Things I love about this next picture: My hair. Those bangs are ridiculous, so is the scrunchy. Austin's (brother) smile. He was the cutest kid. Asa (sister) coming out of the house squealing. How I'm sitting. I think it's adorable.

More proof of my crazy bangs: (and overalls, and shirt with smiley faces) And OMGTHECUTESTPUPPYEVER! That's my favorite dog Daisy. She lived 14 years and died an ugly dog who snorted every time she breathed and had no teeth. I loved her all the same.

We would also make these creepy things. Halloween meant we got to color on sheets and pillowcases! What a treat. My grandparents lived out in the country so we didn't go trick or treating, but we did get to create these creatures to put on the side of the road. I wonder how many wrecks these things caused.

This was the year that Austin and I were both clowns and Ryan and Alex were Simba and Nalla from lion king. I was so mad I had to be a stupid clown and wear stupid makeup when Ryan and Alex got to be LIONS! So not fair. But it makes a funny picture. Haha.

Hope you enjoyed my blast from the past.

A good day

2010-10-28T09:15:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was an awesome exhausting day. I worked on the ICU step down unit (where patients go after they are well enough to get out of the ICU, but still not well enough to go to a regular MedSurg floor, or home).

It was a unique day because I didn't have any of my classmates with me, they were all on other floors.

It was scary riding the elevator to the third floor waving goodbye to my friends, my comfort, and then riding up three more floors alone.

I wanted the elevator to keep going, up or down, I didn't care. I just did not want to face the day alone.

Well, the elevator didn't keep going. It stopped. The computerized voice echoed "6th floor". I took a deep breath and slowly walked toward the unit that would change my attitude of this semester.

You see, this semester I have not been sure that I am doing the right thing. With almost every class, every test, every clinical day I have wondered "why am i doing this?". That's not a good thing to wonder when you're in a bunch of debt for a great nursing education.

Yesterday though, I remembered. And oh, it felt so good.

The unit was understaffed and the nurse I was supposed to shadow was very overwhelmed. She immediately handed me two patient's charts and said "They are yours. Let me know if you need anything". My heart raced, I think I started sweating. I was scared. What if I messed up? What if I gave someone the wrong medication? AHHHHHH.

After the initial fear wore off, I took off. And it was SO fun. I felt like a real nurse. My patients were great. One even got to go home, so I got a new one. I did the admit all by myself.

The day got crazy and stressful at many moments, but that's how it goes. Being a nurse is sometimes crazy and stressful.

I liked it.

My instructor came up to check on me at one point when I was charting and she said "how do you feel?" I said "like a nurse." She smiled and so did I.

It was such a good day.

My legs are sore today from all the running around, and I love it.

A little more than 6 months and I'll hopefully be feeling that way every day.

Yay.

2010-10-25T20:45:00.003-05:00

What a whirlwind week it was!

I felt like shutting down after my psych test on Tuesday. That class is so challenging for me. Well, so is everything else this semester, it seems. I don't know what the deal is.

I couldn't shut down. At all. In fact, I didn't get to bed until after 1am Tuesday night which completely defeats the purpose of me changing my RA duty night to Mondays.

I woke up extra early on Wednesday because I was so nervous about my first day in ICU. And just in case you're wondering what extra early means--4am. Well 3:50am to be exact, but that's just getting too technical.

Anyway, I was on the Surgical intensive care unit and it was intense care for sure (by the way, I am so exhausted that I just spelled for "f-u-r", stared at it thinking "that does not look right" and finally figured out what was wrong about 20 seconds later). Horrible spelling aside, besides the crazy about of butterflies and a random case of VERY congested ears on my part, it was a good day. Let me just tell you, the ICU is not a good place to have fluid filled ears. All the dinging of alarms and IV machines was echoing and driving me cray cray.

I don't think I'm made for the ICU. I was nervous all day. It could be because of many things: unfamiliar environment, dizziness because of the congested ears (i was SO worried I was going to have another J1 fainting experience), ventilators (they scare me big time), and just really sick patients. I also feel so inexperienced in that environment. Almost stupid even. It's all feels way over my head. I guess that means that I have a lot to learn. If I can get over feeling so uninformed and worrying about someone dying on me.

This is what happens when I am tired...I rant. I could keep going too...and I'm going to!

After 12 hours at the hospital I started my journey to New Orleans. Oh man, it was so good to be with Andrew. We had a pretty laid back, relaxing visit. Watched It's Kind of a Funny Story (very cute...it was hard not to over analyze how unrealistic everything was since I just got done with my psych rotation), Son of Rambow (very cute and funny...made me want to adopt lots of little british boys), Willow (Andrew could not believe I had never seen it. You may be wondering how we ended up talking about Willow and I honestly don't know. I think he was talking in a goat voice or something else totally normal), Real World New Orleans (we maybe should be ashamed that we watched over 4 hours of it this weekend, but it is incredibly intriguing to watch the insane amount of stupidity, and also see cool places that we know of in NOLA), and also some football. We ate at my favorite restaurants and went to the zoo. Walked around the quarter and by the river. Saw a hobo fight, stepping in what I think may have been urine, nearly got tripped by a hobo, and saw plenty of other interesting sights. That is one thing you can always count on in New Olreans. Interesting sights.

Alright, well I have definitely typed too much. Here's the only picture I took this weekend: Andrew in Cafe du monde.

Just because

2010-10-18T21:00:00.004-05:00

Because that last blog is just sad.

Because it's Monday night and I'm on duty on Mondays now so I can get more than 3 hours of sleep before clinical.

Because I should be studying for my test tomorrow but it's way too loud in the lobby to focus.

Because blogging makes me feel good.

And last but certainly not least, because I go to New Orleans to see this face in 3 days!

Hurry up Thursday!

love.

That was a first

2010-10-17T22:01:00.003-05:00

Today a woman at a checkout counter said to me "ohhhhhh! are you expecting?"

I thought: "seriously?!"

I said: "Expecting WHAT?"

She awkwardly replied "ohhhkay, that will be $10.75"

Hopefully she put that on her list of things to never ever ever ever ever ask someone again. ever.

I'm doubtful though.

I'm also thinking that my new $4 shirt that I was so excited about may not be getting much more use.

Haircut

2010-10-15T16:07:00.003-05:00

I love getting haircuts. There are so many things to love:

Getting your hair washed. It's so relaxing. A simple pleasure, really. You don't realize how much work washing your hair is until someone else washes it for you. Plus, Shelby always has the best smelling shampoo and conditioner.

Getting your hair styled. Some people don't like this part because you can never fix it the same as your hair dresser does. But that's the beauty of it for me. For me, when I get my hair cut that means I get it straightened. Straightening my hair is such work, and I love just sitting there and poof! Straight hair. Magic. I'm beginning to sound lazy when it comes to my hair...and it's because I am.

Soft hair. I think hair dressers have some secret potion that makes hair super soft. I want it. I can never stop running my fingers through my soft hair after getting a haircut.

Change. It's fun. I used to not like changing my hair. But ever since the big cut a year ago, I get excited about it.

I've already mentioned how good Shelby's shampoo and conditioner smells. But it has got to be mentioned again because it's amazing. When I'm not running my fingers through my hair, I'm holding a strand up against my nose.

I didn't change much this time. Just got a trim, a good thinning, and more defined bangs. I'm on a mission to have long hair by this summer. We'll see if I can make it happen.

I wanted to take a picture to show you and in the process realized that my new bangs are at just the right length where they just won't stay behind my ear:

tried to put it behind the ears. fail.

and the solution:
And yes, I'm wearing the same outfit as yesterday. I wish I could defend myself by saying I only wore it for half a day yesterday or something like that, but I can't. It was just laying on my chair this morning when I woke up and I didn't have to make any decisions. It just felt right, okay?

Have a happy weekend.

Sunshine and Rainbows

2010-10-14T19:30:00.005-05:00

The simulation was crazy. We passed, but it was crazy. Our patient died, for a long time. Our biggest mistake was not calling the "doctor" and just continuing the code (we thought that by "calling a code" we were calling a "doctor"). Apparently not. Our instructors said that doctors would have called the time of death long before it was actually called. Hence, CPR for 20 minutes. Resulting in my first CPR blister.

See:

Well, you can't really see it because of photobooth isn't what I would call top notch quality. And it's gotten a lot better since Tuesday.

And yes, I'm getting my hair trimmed and THINNED tomorrow. It is crazy thick right now. It's borderline fro.

It's been yet another crazy week here at this dorm of ours. Some extremely burnt beans, 4 candles, and 5 fire alarms later I'm ready to run away somewhere. Anywhere.

Maybe New Orleans? In 6 days? I think so.

My favorite thing is when residents walk up to me outside during a fire alarm asking things like "where is the fire?" "is it a real fire?" "is it going to get in my room?" oh and my number one favorite this week: "WHY are we having so many fire alarms lately?".

I wish I knew, my sweet little ditzy freshman. I wish I knew.

Besides the craziness at the dorm, it's been a week of splendid surprises.

I'm so happy.

Life is sunshine and rainbows right now.

Even underneath my stack of notes and books.

Happy Monday!

2010-10-11T20:44:00.002-05:00

No class this morning, which means I slept in 'til 10:20.

Woke up slow. Drank coffee. Read.

My favorite way to start.

The only real productive thing I did all day was go practice for our big simulation tomorrow.

Critical care AND mental health nursing simulation combined. I'll let you know how it goes, but this is what I'm predicting: A dramatic Grey's Anatomy type moment. The patient is talking one minute and then BAM! all of a sudden his heart stops beating. Everyone springs into action and (hopefully) administers the right medications, does CPR, maybe defibrillate. All while this is going on there is a family member (or two) in the room screaming and carrying on. Although the team did their best, the patient dies and then we have to console the family.

After that, the week should be pretty chill.

No clinicals this week...PARTAY!

I'm getting my hair cut on Friday. Yay for Shelby not being on maternity leave anymore, my split ends rejoice.

I'm working all day Saturday which usually means I get paid to hang out with a crazy guy, watch tv, and study. It's a tough life, I know.

Other news? None, I guess. Oh, I have a new love for frozen fruit. It all started a couple of weeks ago when I made cobbler for the RAs and then ate the left over fruit. Since then I have consumed 3 bags of frozen peaches.

10 days 'til I head to New Orleans for the first time since this summer. Excited.

That's about it I suppose.

Thanks for putting up with me, the rambling woman.

Facts

2010-10-07T22:30:00.002-05:00

-Money, in the words of a schizophrenic patient "it goes so fast! Like....PUDDIN'!"

ha.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

-I am completely in love with this weather. It is seriously perfect.

-Now that I aced that test, I'm back to counting down to graduation. 211 days.

-I can't wait for this cd come out:

Oct. 12, in case you are wondering.

-I'm updating my blog too much.

love, allye.

Really long post

2010-10-06T21:16:00.004-05:00

I really do hate to take the attention off of the adorable fabric pumpkins that I think are the cutest things I've seen all week, but I would really like to tell you about my day.

This week for my mental health nursing clinical I did my community rotation.

Community week of clinical is always one that I enjoy.

You may remember last semester when I taught a breast feeding class and birthing class. (an interesting experience to say the least)

Well this week I'm working with the Mental Health Mental Retardation Assertive Community Outreach Team. Whew, that's a mouthful.

Katie and I were together, which made it so much easier. I wish I could take one of my nursing friends with me after graduation to my first day of work as a real nurse (holy smokes, that's SCARY). Having someone there with you in your shoes makes life so much easier! I guess an easy life would be boring...

Anyhow, we met the case worker who was a very nice, funny man with a good sense of humor. I think you probably have to have a sense of humor for this job.

We ventured out into the depths of Temple.

My brain and my heart could not comprehend what I saw.

Poverty.

People living in shacks with broken windows, no air conditioning or heat. Not even 20 minutes away from my cozy campus.

It was hard to balance the emotions because these people are lucky to even have a house to stay in. The case worker we were with said "if they didn't live here, they couldn't live anywhere else." Usually because their behaviors, their sickness, their disease scares people and gets them kicked out of low income apartments, and government housing.

When we pulled up to the first house I looked out the dirty window of the van and saw two men sitting in recliners on their front lawn . This made me smile, and excited to talk to them.

The man on the right had a kitten wrapped around his leg purring, when he saw that we were there to visit them and he smiled a big toothless smile and greeted us with a squeaky "heeellooo!"

We visited for a little while out on the lawn. Sweet men. Very confused, and lost in this word but sweet, nonetheless.

When we got back into the van the caseworker told us that the man with the contagious toothless smile has lung cancer and is just waiting to die.

My heartbeat slowed a little.

He sits in that maroon and navy recliner on his dried up lawn with his kitten waiting to die every day. Can you imagine?

I can't.

Next we went to a rundown motel where a bunch of people who have literally gotten kicked out everywhere else stay. We picked up a paranoid schizophrenic and took him to the library to rent some cds. There is nothing that makes me more grateful for a functioning mind more than a paranoid schizophrenic.

That's all I have to say about that.

He showed us a couple of halfway houses, more horrible housing, and where some of these people get food everyday. After that we went to some low income apartments and met one of the most cheerful old women ever.

She also had no teeth.

And by the smell of her apartment, smoked about 100 cigarettes a day.

The whole time she was talking to me I was thinking "should I breathe through my nose, or though my mouth? through my nose means I can smell it, but I feel like it gets to my lungs faster through my mouth..." This went on inside my head until the "fresh" air of downtown temple hit my lungs.

The best part was how she kept saying to me "I CLEANED ALL DAY YESTERDAY! DON'T IT SMELL WONDERFUL IN HERE?!" She asked us that several times. I smiled and nodded while praying I wasn't getting lung cancer.

Wow. I've written a lot. I apologize.

All in all it was an eye opening day. Lots of conflicting emotions. Sadness, frustration, happiness, anger, confusion.

I'm glad I go to a university that sees the importance of working in the community. It's a blessing to be a part of.

Someday

2010-10-06T08:19:00.008-05:00

When I grow up.

When I have a house, or an apartment at fall time.

When I have a sewing machine.

And lots of deliciously cute fall fabric with flowers and leaves,

I'm going to make these .

If I'm good at it (which, by the way I won't be until the 10th one),

it may even become one of those traditions where I say to my kids "kiiiiiiids it's getting chilly outside, you know what that means......fabric pumpkin making time!!!"

I mean, every kid should learn how to make fabric pumpkins right?

Andrew and I may have a disagreement here.

But we'll deal with that when it comes.

Anyway, so my kids will groan and say something like "ahwwww why can't we just carve pumpkins like all the NORMAL families?!"

We will, though. Because I love baked pumpkin seeds. But fabric pumpkins always come first in THIS house.

Why wouldn't they?

Look at how ridiculously cute they are!

I can't wait.

Someday...

(and yes, I look at blogs at 7:30am. It wakes me up. and i'm kind of in love with them.)

Today

2010-10-05T23:58:00.003-05:00

Praise God, I made an A.

I only got anxious once during the whole test. I stopped, took some breaths and was fine the rest of the time.

I'm feeling very grateful.

There is still a lot of hard work to be done. But this restored confidence and feeling of being capable has been amazing for me.

Thank you for your encouragement, love, and prayers.

I'm thankful for all the support.

After the test today I walked out smiling, told one person, and got hugs and squeals. After that I went to the sub to relax before lecture. As my nursing family finished, they joined me. News spreads like wildfire in our little family we have formed, so everyone knew I was failing, and somehow everyone also knew I made an A. They rejoiced with me and it felt so good. I can't describe how good it felt. I kept saying "I am so happy".

And I was.

So, so, so grateful.

Psalm 139:1-18

2010-10-04T22:11:00.002-05:00

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in- behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

Tomorrow

2010-10-04T10:37:00.008-05:00

Tomorrow is the big day.

Tomorrow I'll take a test that I have studied more for than any other test. Ever.

I'm feeling pretty good, besides the insane amount of pressure. I'll let you know what happens, dear blog followers. Thank you in advance for your prayers.

In other news, this weather brings so much happiness to my world. I tried to sleep with my window open last night, but when you live on a college campus with hooligans playing games in the quad that include screaming bloody murder at 1am it becomes hard to enjoy the cool weather.

I broke my personal record for getting ready this morning. Woke up at 7:26am and was in class at 7:35. Needless to say, I'm looking a little rough today. I did brush my teeth though, that's always a priority.

Lately I have really been wishing I didn't live in a dorm. For several reasons but the main one being I want to bake. Real bad. I want to bake something that tastes like fall. Maybe cinnamon rolls (heck, cinnamon rolls taste like every season!), or pumpkin muffins, or german chocolate cupcakes with coconut pecan icing. I think my abs (or lack there of) are grateful for my dorm living and thus, lack of oven and baking.

Speaking of abs (wow, this post is really becoming quite random), I ran almost 2 miles without stopping the other day. It has been a sllloooooooow process, but the fact that I am RUNNING almost 2 miles feels literally unbelievable to me.

Tonight I am buying a huge bag of candy corn though, and not running.

They make duty much more fun

2010-10-03T00:03:00.001-05:00