I need to be reading for my microbiology test on tuesday, but my throat is still hurting from trying to hold back the sobs in the lobby to keep from embarrassing myself, so i'm not in the reading kind of mood. So of course naturally, when procrastination takes over, this is where I come.
Last night we had our final RA get together for the semester (excluding the gazillion hours we will spend together these next few days during check out). We had a really fun time pigging out, bowling, and rock climbing:
Robyn after eating:
I'm so very happy about the time I have gotten to spend with those lovely humans up there. Its been so great. We have grown a lot this semester, I think. Or at least I have from the times we have spent together. Every tuesday during our meeting we have been going through 1 Corinthians 13.I have felt so challenged with how I love.
I used to read these verses and like it just because it sounds pretty, and it's about love. Well, it does, and it is, but I have learned that it's not quite that simple. I've been forced in a sense to examine myself with every new verse.
love is patient....am i?
love is kind...what about me?
love does not envy...yeah that one is tough.
love does not boast...is that possible?
love is not easily angered...oh.
love is not jealous...crap. crap. crap.
love does not keep record of wrong...really?!
Paul ends the phrase with what love does do and says love always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres.
I don't think that he wrote this to make us feel like crap. Paul probably was just wanting to encourage and challenge. He seems like the encouraging kind of guy. But when I read these verses I feel like crap. I am jealous. I couldn't count how many records of wrong I have in my puny brain. I'm angry, so very very angry at people who hurt me.
I know God is a God of grace, and even though I'm apparently awful at love, He still loves me. That is so amazing.
Thanks, God.
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