Really long post

I really do hate to take the attention off of the adorable fabric pumpkins that I think are the cutest things I've seen all week, but I would really like to tell you about my day.

This week for my mental health nursing clinical I did my community rotation.

Community week of clinical is always one that I enjoy.

You may remember last semester when I taught a breast feeding class and birthing class. (an interesting experience to say the least)

Well this week I'm working with the Mental Health Mental Retardation Assertive Community Outreach Team. Whew, that's a mouthful.

Katie and I were together, which made it so much easier. I wish I could take one of my nursing friends with me after graduation to my first day of work as a real nurse (holy smokes, that's SCARY). Having someone there with you in your shoes makes life so much easier! I guess an easy life would be boring...

Anyhow, we met the case worker who was a very nice, funny man with a good sense of humor. I think you probably have to have a sense of humor for this job.

We ventured out into the depths of Temple.

My brain and my heart could not comprehend what I saw.

Poverty.

People living in shacks with broken windows, no air conditioning or heat. Not even 20 minutes away from my cozy campus.

It was hard to balance the emotions because these people are lucky to even have a house to stay in. The case worker we were with said "if they didn't live here, they couldn't live anywhere else." Usually because their behaviors, their sickness, their disease scares people and gets them kicked out of low income apartments, and government housing.

When we pulled up to the first house I looked out the dirty window of the van and saw two men sitting in recliners on their front lawn . This made me smile, and excited to talk to them.

The man on the right had a kitten wrapped around his leg purring, when he saw that we were there to visit them and he smiled a big toothless smile and greeted us with a squeaky "heeellooo!"

We visited for a little while out on the lawn. Sweet men. Very confused, and lost in this word but sweet, nonetheless.

When we got back into the van the caseworker told us that the man with the contagious toothless smile has lung cancer and is just waiting to die.

My heartbeat slowed a little.

He sits in that maroon and navy recliner on his dried up lawn with his kitten waiting to die every day. Can you imagine?

I can't.

Next we went to a rundown motel where a bunch of people who have literally gotten kicked out everywhere else stay. We picked up a paranoid schizophrenic and took him to the library to rent some cds. There is nothing that makes me more grateful for a functioning mind more than a paranoid schizophrenic.

That's all I have to say about that.

He showed us a couple of halfway houses, more horrible housing, and where some of these people get food everyday. After that we went to some low income apartments and met one of the most cheerful old women ever.

She also had no teeth.

And by the smell of her apartment, smoked about 100 cigarettes a day.

The whole time she was talking to me I was thinking "should I breathe through my nose, or though my mouth? through my nose means I can smell it, but I feel like it gets to my lungs faster through my mouth..." This went on inside my head until the "fresh" air of downtown temple hit my lungs.

The best part was how she kept saying to me "I CLEANED ALL DAY YESTERDAY! DON'T IT SMELL WONDERFUL IN HERE?!" She asked us that several times. I smiled and nodded while praying I wasn't getting lung cancer.

Wow. I've written a lot. I apologize.

All in all it was an eye opening day. Lots of conflicting emotions. Sadness, frustration, happiness, anger, confusion.

I'm glad I go to a university that sees the importance of working in the community. It's a blessing to be a part of.