Stream of consciousness

Today was our capstone symposium and senior nursing luncheon.

It was the last time my class will be together until graduation practice.

It's not quite feeling real yet.

I have been dreaming of this moment, the end of my college career, for a really long time.

But now that it's here I can't grasp it. Not even a tiny bit.

I cried a little bit tonight. It might have been the sad indie movie about a guy with cancer, or the fact that Annie woke up 3 times last night and I couldn't fall back asleep and I'm slightly exhausted.

It also could be because I'm kinda sad to leave this place.

I'm attached, I'll admit it.

I guess the sad part about moving away hit me today.

The happy most definitely outweighs the sad, let me preface with that please; because I cannot wait to live in New Orleans with my darling, sweet, most wonderful soon-to-be husband. Life with him there is going to be beyond my wildest dreams in the most delightful way possible.

It's just change.

It's moving away, saying goodbye to the people and things that I have spent the last 4 years of my life pouring into and investing in.

Change isn't easy, even when it's the happiest of changes.

I'm frustrated with my job situation. Still finding it hard to let go and let God as they say. Whoever they is.

My friends are getting offered positions left and right. I am feeling a little bit like a straggler, like I'm doing something wrong.

I talked to the Louisiana Board of Nursing today about getting my license endorsement and they were the opposite of encouraging. Saying that even if I found a job, I wouldn't be able to get my LA license until late July AT BEST.

It's looking like I'm going to be a house wife for the first few months of Andrew and I's journey together.

Maybe I'll become a great cook.

Or learn to fold laundry right after washing/drying it and not leave it in the dryer for days.

I might even try to pick up sewing again, who knows.

It's probably going to be the best time of my life. Who wants to work anyway?

Ha.

Life is a funny thing.

Funny, mysterious, and pretty much out of our control.

Which is freeing and scary at the same time.

I'm going to conclude this semi-bipolar blog post by saying I'm excited about my life, and I hope this didn't make anyone think that I'm not.

Change is just change.

If that doesn't make sense to you then that probably means you're good with change, and if that's the case then I'm proud of you.

I've gone through countless major life changes and it still beats me why I can't figure out how to embrace it like I want to.

Bipolar post ending now.

Love,

allye