Time for just walkin slow

Busy, busy, busy. Good though. I'm really excited about a lot of stuff right now. Next weekend we are having an event called Women of Worship and I cannot wait for it. It is going to be such a neat time to worship, learn and reflect. I've been in charge of getting some of the sound stuff taken care of for the event and have learned how much behind the scenes work goes into something like this...a lot! I'm also on the Missions Emphasis steering committee. Missions emphasis week is a week here at UMHB totally dedicated to missions. We have missionaries from all around the world here with us teaching us about what they do and sharing life with us for a week. We had our first meeting on Monday, and it is going to be so fun! I'm really excited about it.

This weather is absolutely wonderful! Last night I drove around with my windows down listening to some music and the world inside of my little car seemed perfect. Its good to make time no matter how busy life is to just relax and enjoy.

I don't have much more to update on.

love.

allye

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." -Mark Twain

Love is patient

This week has been rough. School wise, emotionally, physically. However, God has been so faithful in flooding me with his truths, love, peace and reassurance. It is amazing to me how the worst of weeks can be the best ones spiritually.

After a hard conversation on Tuesday night I took my stubborn heart to our weekly RA meeting, where God quickly spoke. Retta (my boss) spoke to us about patience. She mostly talked to us about being patient with our residents, co-workers, and herself. She read from 1 Corinthians 13 about how without love anything you do is in vain.

Love is patient.

That struck a chord with me and made my heart melt in repentance. How patient am I being in my relationships?

Decisions are hard. My heart feels heavy, but full. Full of his love.

And I am grateful.

"If I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." -1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I need this old train to break down

After much anxiety and studying, this school day has come to an end. I am pleased to say that my first two tests of my nursing career are over. I'm not exactly sure what significance that has, if any, but it feels like an accomplishment in my head. Only 6 more this semester...and a bunch more after that.

My love for Jack Johnson has reemerged over the past couple days. I think it might be because of this weather. I remember when I first started listening to him I would sit in my room and read with the windows open. I like it when music has memories attached.

I've been feeling all sorts of conviction lately. I've even felt convicted about being convicted and not acting upon it. Sometimes I feel like I can write my feelings down so accurately, but with not with this topic. I'm sure it's because I'm not sure. I mean, when am I ever really sure though? Not often. That made no sense...moving on. After church I was reading Psalm 42:

"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God."

I think usually I would read that and think "well, that's nice...such a good verse!" After the message on Sunday this verse left me feeling like I fall so short. The way that the people in scripture crave God seems foreign to me. Does my soul thirst for the living God like the deer's necessity to drink?!
No.
Dang.

I want to say that I desire that, but I'm not even sure if that would be complete honesty. Because in order to desire that deep craving, that relationship that isn't a choice but a need, that thirst, I think I'm going to have to let some pretty tall walls get broken down. Right now my fear of pain, my pride in thinking that I'm doing alright, my selfishness of wanting life to be easy & good, and my anger are blocking the way for any construction.

I need to breakdown.

Beautiful

Right now I have my windows open, I'm listening to a sweet mix of music made by this pretty great guy I know, and you know what? The fact that I have my first two nursing tests on monday doesn't stress me out as much as it did yesterday. This weather makes me feel so good. I like it a lot. I think I can even say that I love this weather. Yeah. It's good.