Today was a fantastic day. In fact, fantastic doesn't even do the day justice. You know what was so fantastic about this day? I did nothing. Nothing. Well, I take that back, because I did watch approximately 4 hours of What Not to Wear. I also enjoyed the BEAUTIFUL weather, and took a stroll to the library to study. Oh! And watched Miss America with Lauren and Krista. Tonight we went to Wal-Mart and bought a microwavable cherry pie, which turned out to be better than I expected, and just lounged around and stuffed ourselves with pie and whipped cream and then some chips after that, as if we didn't already eat enough pie. Anyway, it was fantastic. I'm not going to go on to complain about work like I feel like doing, just because last night was most likely the worst work night in all Cotton Patch history, but honestly after today I know that I have been working too much. When sitting around in sweats watching TV until 3:30 feels odd and not right, i think something is wrong. :D
I'm not going to complain about my job, because I really like it, I do. I really feel like God has placed me there to be blessed and learn, and I have. I have made friends who are hurting, yearning and searching. People who need the Lord, people who want the Lord but are so blinded by the evil of the world. It makes me angry when I see evil hurting people so badly. I am taken back with every awful story I hear. It breaks my heart to hear the stories, when I see the sadness in their eyes and hear the quiver in their voices, I want them to know. I want them to know the grace, mercy, comfort, unfailing love and strength that the Lord brings. Sometimes I get frustrated, when we're all sitting around the table at the end of the night rolling silverware, (which by the way, is a ritual that seems to bring out the honesty in ALL people) and the conversation coming from these hurting hearts is so sad, I pray "Father, they need you. How long will it take for them to know you?" When I need words, they don't come. When I have words, it's not the right time. I truly believe that I am there for a reason, just like we are all where we are in life for a reason. Except this time feels different. I feel like I am being awakened to a whole new side of life, it's a little crazy to think Cotton Patch can do that to a person, but that's what it feels like. I feel like God is possibly showing me, through my new friends, what the rest of my life holds. I don't know, it might be a crazy theory, but I think this is what I want to do. Not be a waitress forever, but talk to people. Hurting people. Searching people. People who have no hope because of what the evil of the world has done to them. I want to show them hope. But I need to gain the hope first. The hope that even I can get past what has kept me for so long. I think once that happens, helping hurting people heal will be more realistic. Once I am healed.
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8
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