Awesome times ahead, for shizzle.

I'm a bit sleep deprived (hence the for shizzle), sore from moving, and extremely ready to be in Hawaii.

I've been staying at my friend Amy's house for a short stint since Julie and I moved out of our apartment. I have been spending time chatting with her about marriage, life, babies, anything/everything in between, and playing with her sweet kiddos. I haven't touched my computer in a couple of days due to that and the madness of moving.

Tomorrow I'm going to get to see one of my longest bffs Monica and her hubby, and on Friday Monica and I are going to Canton (which I could not be more excited about). I'm not so excited about having to suppress my puppy fever in dog town though.

After hanging with Monica I get to see Allie and hopefully Robyn.

And on Saturday I'm going to NOLA to see my man!

It really couldn't get any better.

Well, it could if I DIDN'T suppress my puppy fever...but Andrew might die/not talk to me for the rest of our lives.

I choose happy husband over puppy.

I'll continue saying that for as long as we shall live.

I do.

Speaking of I do's, we will be I do-ing in approximately 20 days.

DANG GOOD news, because I am READY.

Here's me playing catch up on my way too lofty goal of blogging every day. Shoulda known bettah.

22. Andrew, you are so smart. This kind of relates to your creativity, but I really do love how smart you are. I may be just slightly dumb, so keeping me around is definitely going to make you look REALLY good. I am constantly asking you "what does that mean?" when you say a big word or are telling me about something you learned in seminary or "who is that?" when you're talking about history, musical legends, or famous artists. I love how you think, and ponder. I will always learn something new being your wife, and I love that.

21. I love how much you love music. Even though I sometimes give you a hard time about your massive record collection, deep down I like it a lot. It's such a neat hobby, even if it means I have to endure countless pawn shop trips and digging through bins at thrift stores and garage sales...it's actually kind of growing on me. I love dancing with you to the crackly sound of a record and I love dreaming of us teaching our babies how to dance to that same sound. Your mixed CDs are my comfort when I'm missing you and needing to feel some extra love, you put together the best mixes. Seriously, quit your day job and make mixes for a living. Actually, maybe wait until I find a job to do that.

20. I love how much you love your family. It's a natural, simple love that is inspiring to me and makes me excited for us to start a family together, even if it is just the two of us for a (long) while. Your love for them is evident in the way you tell stories, talk on the phone with them, and light up when we're all together. I feel such thankfulness to be joining a family that is filled with so much love.

24 & 23

Yesterday was a hectic day of packing, moving, hanging out with Crosbys, more moving, and going to visit Allie at her sweet breast friends cookout to help her walk the Susan G. Koman Walk for the Cure. Hence, I didn't even touch my computer.

23 days! I'm usually a countdown person, I love thinking that 23 days seems so long and then experiencing how quickly it goes by. Usually I make time much shorter than it is. I'll say to Andrew "only a week until I get to see you" when in actuality it's 10 days. I'm not doing that with the wedding though, it would be to cruel to my excited self.

I am going to New Orleans in 5 days to spend time with the boy and help him set up OUR HOUSE! Crazy. And fun. I am so excited.

24th reason why I love you, Andrew:

I love your laugh. It makes me laugh to hear you laugh and that will never get old. I love that it's something that people notice about you because it really does bring joy to other people. It's also pretty nice of you to laugh at (most of ) my jokes. Thanks for amusing me. I'm grateful I get to hear your laugh for the rest of our lives.

23:

I love your creativity. You have a unique way of viewing the world that I admire. I love that you're creative enough to come up with the strangest, yet most adorable pet names for me. They make me smile, and I'm sure would make others either cringe or tilt their heads in confusion saying "did that guy just call his wife peanut butter puddin' surprise?". I'll always cherish the little creative gems you've given to me throughout our dating years, all of the mixed cds, the hand assembled jewelry, sweet cards, and neat modge podged pictures.

25

25 days until Andrew finally becomes my husband, and I his wife.

Husband and wife.

Those words together have a new meaning to me than they ever have had before.

I have seen marriages.

Beautifully happy ones, as well as violently sad ones.

I have been emerged deep in the loss that divorce causes, and experienced chills and from hearing a old, wise, beautiful woman try to explain to me the depth that the love for her late husband holds.

I remember saying to my friends in high school that I didn't want to ever get married because of the trust it entails, because your heart could be so easily crushed. Loving someone that much didn't make sense to me at that time, all that made sense to me in love was pain. I saw too much pain stem from putting your heart on the line and loving. Why do that to myself?

I've written here before about how my heart as been transformed by love. How it has been a slow, sometimes painful process of realizing that I am not in control. I've talked about how being loved by people throughout this journey of becoming someone who trusts love has brought me to a better, more tangible understanding of God's love.

Trusting love has been a battle for me because love has not always been trustworthy in my eyes.

It's amazing to dwell on that past perception of something that holds such beauty in my eyes now.

Because now, I trust love. I trust that it's beautiful, enriching, fulfilling, and something that we cannot live without.

I also trust that it's painful. It's painful because as humans we have expectations of how we should be loved and those expectations are not always met. It's painful because in life there is loss, heartache, and unexplained hurt. The beauty in the pain though is that it is painful because we trust. When love isn't trusted, there is a numbness to pain because you are expecting for your heart to be crushed. Having been here, as well as there I can say that I would much rather feel pain because of trusting love than be numb because of mistrust and expecting love to fail.

I love (not to wear out that word here) that I feel this way. I believe with all of my heart that God took me through life knowing that I would be laying in the living room of my empty apartment at such a vital transition in my life, dwelling on how I got here, and how everything that has happened in my life has one way or another taught me was true love means (even if it was an experience that taught me what true love isn't).

Trusting love has never come naturally to me, but now it feels as natural as taking my next breath.

In 25 days Andrew and I will dive deep into a life together that I pray is filled with years and years (and years) of the natural love that we already have. I know that our love will grow, but right now as a crazy, head over heels, soon to be bride I don't see how that is possible.

I didn't intend to get carried away with all of that, but I did.

My intention was to tell you that I want to remember this time of feeling so much genuine trust in love, and loving Andrew in a unique way before marriage by telling a reason each day leading up to our marriage of why I love him like I do.

25 days isn't going to be enough to tell all the reasons, but I think this will be a fun way for me to remember (and remind him) each day how truly privileged I feel to get to spend forever with him.

Andrew, 25 days until I'm your wife:

I love you because your kind, gentle, patient love towards me has taught me to trust like never before.