Thirty One.

Yes, it is true, 31 days until graduation. I am so ready. School is just becoming like making your bed,a useless chore, unless there are guests and you want it to look good for them. I'm not sure how that analogy made since, but oh well.

This week has been filled with doctors appointments and not enough sleep. I think I need to change my attitude about things, maybe learn to be happier. A girl in my English class today asked me why I was always happy. I wanted to respond with ''uh, I'm not, in fact, I'm pretty opposite ''always'' happy.'' But, I didn't, I just said, ''I have no reason not to be.'' Liar. My goal is to learn how to know what I'm feeling. That is really really hard for me for some reason. You think it would be easy, to know that your sad, or happy, or angry. But I think that I have worked so hard for so long to hide my emotions and not share them with people that I've almost forgotten what all those things feel like. Sounds crazy I know. But, maybe I am. All I know is I feel overwhelmed by emotion, which ones I'm not sure, it could be because there are just so many there that it's hard to figure out, but I do know that it's overwhelming me, and I just do not like it.

I want it to be different, and I know there's a road I'm gonna have to walk for it to be different. The hard part is gaining the courage to walk that road. The great comfort- knowing He will see me through.