I just got finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. He's funny and had a style of writing that I loved. I want to read the book again sometime, after I've read some others that are on the list.
During a chapter on love my mind was going a million different directions and I had to put the book down and think. A message I heard and discussed some on Sunday about judging was playing into my thoughts. My thought, or question rather: Where do you draw the line between judging and tolerance?
It's a difficult line to draw, in my opinion. On one side of the line is judgement, accountability, what some see as righteous actions. On the other side of the line is acceptance, some may call it tolerance. How do we meet in the middle?
I think love can be on both sides.
People who strive for and desire to keep people accountable love just as much as people who accept, I think. When discussing the issue of accountability and church discipline even, I have heard many people say "well, you just have to make sure your heart is in the right place, that you are not coming with a judging heart." That I think is much more difficult than people who say that think it is.
Speaking the truth in love, that's hard stuff.
Miller had some insight in Blue Like Jazz that really stuck to me. He writes about how when speaking the truth in love, the conversation needs to be true. He says there are two conversations going on when you are talking to some one. The first, what your mouth is saying. The second is beneath the surface, on the level of the heart, what you really feel and think. He says if both conversations aren't true then God is not involved in the exchange, we are on our own and on our own, we lead people astray.
What I got from this is yes, we do need to have our motives straight. Love needs to be the only reason and we should never try and change someone. It's not our job.
I do not think it is an easy thing to do. Love in a way that judgement isn't there. In my own heart I feel like it might be nearly impossible. I see aspects though of my own life where I would greatly appreciate and accept that kind of accountability.
The kind that isn't judgemental nor tolerant, but loving.
3 comments:
:) i like this post. i guess the greatest thing about all of this is that you're right; it is absolutely impossible for us to truly love on our own. that's why Christ has to do it for us. there's freedom in that though... understanding that there's something that we utterly cannot do and instead of trying, allowing the One who can to do it.
and that you are completely and totally loved without judgment. if there are people in your life who are not supplying you with that, it's because you don't need it from them. because everything you could ever need is already met for you in Christ. although i totally understand the desire for it from people... i want it daily.
anyway this is getting way too long for a blog comment. i love you! thank you for the wonderful post!
This makes me think of a friend that I want the best for. I don't see it really as judgement (who are we to judge others) or tolerance, but as when I see the struggles she is going through, my heart breaks into a million pieces. I think this is the first time that my eyes have truly been opened to this kind of heart breaking love and desire to see her come out of her struggles. And that makes me think, what would it look like if our desire for the lost to see the love of Christ were this heart breaking.
Thanks for the though-provoking post Allye! I love you!
Thanks for this encouragement Al.
Loving accountability and acceptance is our job.
Swing to far to either side of the spectrum, the grace the Gospel presents to us isn't present.
And that's what life is about.
And, when you think about it,
in everwhere we look,
in everyone we look,
it's God.
Thanks for the blog, friend.
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