Why I love Fall

I'm already tired of looking at that depressing blog post. So to fill its sad place I'm going to tell you why I love Fall.

I've talked about it on here before, but this is going to be a bit more detailed.

Candy. Corn. Ohhhh golly. I have yet to venture out to buy a bag because I've been trying so very hard to eat healthy. But it's definitely going to happen soon. I think I can make myself feel better about doing it if I put a bowl out for my residents and take a handful every time I pass

Carmel Apple Pops. Again. SO good. I don't think this is a seasonal product but for some reason it just feels right to eat them in the Fall. Maybe because it's the only time I would get them as a kid, trick or treating.

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Knitted things on etsy. I already have a wish list of about 10 hats, scarves, gloves, etc. Totally unrealistic considering I live in Texas. But still too adorable to not dream about having. That's all wishlists really are for me, anyway.

I busted out these babies yesterday. Anyone who knows me well knows these are my favorites, and have been for a long, long time. I got them in 8th grade from my grandparents after they went to santa fe. It was spring and not cold so I wore them with shorts. I got made fun of so much that day so I never wore them again until highschool, where I still got made fun of but just didn't care. I wore them yesterday, got called pocohontas only once and got about 15 compliments. Times are a changin', and I can call myself a trendsetter for the first time in my life.

Cardigans. This is the only picture google gave me of multiple cardigans. It also reminded me of how Katie Holmes inspired me to get a pixie cut last year (almost exactly a year ago, actually). Anyway, cardigans. I love them. I wear them in the summer too, because I love them that much, but fall just merits my cardigan use that much more, and boy do I take advantage of it.

I know there's more, but I have a paper to write for critical care.

Peace, love, and fall.

A week from today

at 7:30 am I will take my 2nd Critical Care exam. It will either be a really good day or a really bad day. This test could determine if I graduate in May. I have to make above an 80 on the next 2 tests to pass.
I'm a tiny bit stressed.
But know that whatever happens, I will be okay eventually.
It may not be okay on Tuesday, or in May when everyone else is graduating, or probably until I graduate. But eventually it will be okay.

But I'm trying not to go there until I have to.
It's harder than it sounds though...I can be a worrier.

Another sweet day

Worked the day shift. 1:1 meant lots of studying. And watching Titanic. And the Cowboys. Okay, so maybe not lots of studying.

This evening was special. Two of my favorite little ones became my sisters...

It was special, sweet, and oh so filled with love to say the least.

The sunlight was lovely. The weather was perfect (although the shivering, freezing children might disagree).

The community, celebration and love were visible and unmistakable.

These babies. More precious than anyone could ever imagine...

I love love

It was a beautiful evening.

Another roommate hitched.

So much love.

Congrats Lindsey & Luke.

Sleepy. So very sleepy.

Okay so I can't sleep because of a dang loud cricket stuck in my AC.

He's been there for the past two nights. Two nights of LOUD, and I mean LOUD cricket chirping. As I was trying so so so hard to fall asleep last night I thought "just imagine you're camping out under the stars and this cricket is just singing you to sleep".

That didn't work.

It just made my homicidal ideations (can you tell I spent 12 hours doing psych nursing today?) for the cricket worse.

After what I've put him through I know he's hoping to die as much as I'm hoping for him to die.

I literally poured 409 in my AC last night thinking this would poison him. It didn't do the trick. Why 409 you ask? Well, it's the only cleaner I have besides clorox wipes and it just seems toxic. He's a resilient little bugger.

I don't know why the cricket is a "he".

Maybe because I'm subconsciously hoping that it's not a "she" laying tons of little cricket eggs to hatch and drive me insane. Do crickets lay eggs? No idea.

Speaking of insane.

Today:

-I caught a patient mid-fall. After repeatedly asking this patient to remain seated they decided that wasn't what they wanted to do, got up, got wobbly and started falling. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, darted over and caught them. (by "caught them" I really mean I stuck my knee out for them to land on and slid them down my leg. not really "catching" i suppose, just making the fall less of a fall). I patted myself on the back. That is, after I washed off my arm from where the patient's nails dug into it. Filled out my first injury incident report. Just in case.

-I got the "evil spirits" picked off of me.

-I learned that "burnt coffee is poisonous. more poisonous than smoking cigarettes. It gets into your lungs and poisons you."

-I got yelled by a patient for not giving him my pen. Not even 2 minutes after yelling at me the patient comes back and says in the sweetest voice possible with a big smile "miss, could i have your pen?" Repeat this about 15 more times.

-I said for the first time (and hopefully last time) "I do not see jets flying above us trying to drop scissors into our skulls"

-My belief that I will not be a psych nurse was reaffirmed x 10.

ps- i googled if crickets lay eggs and what I found did not bring me peace: "Each female cricket will lay about 100 eggs in her lifetime. She will lay about 5-10 per day until 100 is reached."

Please, oh please let it be a him. Or AT LEAST a non-pregnated she.

Because I really need sleep.

I really want to document how crazy this day was, but my eyelids are too heavy. 12+ hours at the hospital (on a psych ward!) on less than 4 hours of sleep is a little draining. This is my reminder to write about it later.

this makes me smile

so. cute.

Let us pause in life's pleasures
And count its many tears,
While we all sup sorrow with the poor;
There's a song that will linger
Forever in our ears;
Oh hard times come again no more.

Rambly Ramblerson

So apparently my continued illness is not just affecting me.

Today after church in the parking lot I had Maddie slow down the car so I could open the door and spit (disgusting I know, but it's become normal in my world these days) Maddie said in an appalled voice "I feel like you've had loogies the whole time I've known you!!"

I know Maddie, I feel like I've had them that long too.

Other than loogies, things are good. I'm becoming a master at deep breathing, self encouragement, and positive thinking. I just wrote a whole post about how frustrating, scary and beautiful the unknown is, but I decided it was too heavy. So, here goes one of those stream of consciousness posts.

I'm in this mood where I like to listen to certain songs over and over again and I'm sure its driving my suite-mates crazy.

My phone decided that it didn't want to charge anymore. Thank goodness I'm one of the clumsiest people on earth and force myself to pay the extra $7 a month for insurance. Got a brand spankin' new, shiny phone today FO' FREE! (unless you count the $7 I've paid for the past 13 months...eh, oh well).

The new(ish) coffee shop in Belton has become my second home. All of my cardigans smell like coffee and I'm sure my teeth are slowly becoming more and more stained. I see a box of crest whitestrips in my future.

My goal for the week is to wean myself off nyquil. Shouldn't be hard if the cough will cooperate.

Folding three weeks of laundry is FUN. (not)

Week two in the psych ward. Psyched? Kind of.

I start a bible study tomorrow night with some of my favorite women and I could not be more excited about it.

Andrew is coming in three days. It's going to be real hard to focus on much else.

So, I laughed

Whoa baby, it was a long day. It was pretty fun though. All I really did today was hang out with the patients. We started out with exercise therapy where we used those stretchy latex band things, sat in chairs, and did bicep curls while listening to disco music.

An odd way to begin the morning, I agree.

Next was a recreational therapy game that was to get the brain juices flowing. The game goes like this: There's a stack of cards with all different pictures on them. Your partner picks a card for you and you have to wear it on your head like a crown and ask your partner a bunch of yes or no questions to figure out what's on your head. If you can't figure it out and want help you just have to say (in a calm voice) "clue time" and your partner can give you as many 1 word clues as they want.

My partner had a cow.

After going through all the questions I had written out on a cheat sheet like "is it a person?", "is it a place?...animal...etc." He determined it was an animal and I was sure he was going to figure it out.

Except then he kept asking me things about it hanging in a tree. I tried to steer him away from tree dwelling animals, but he didn't take my hints and ended up calling "clue time"

That's when the one word clues began. I figured I would start out hard and go easier if he didn't get it.

Me: Pasture.

Patient:Goat?

Me: No, but you're going in the right direction!

Me: Beef.

Patient: Beaver?

Inside my head: Whaaaa?!?! On the outside: No.

One word clue number three SURELY he'll get it after this one...

Me: Milk.

Patient: CUP?!

Inside my head: Ohhh man, now he is just completely confused...this is NOT therapeutic. On the outside: No. Remember, it's an animal.

Patient: Ohhhh yeah...another clue please?

Okay, another clue. I have to make it REALLY obvious now...

Me: Mooooooooo.

Patient: (with so much excitement) AARDVARK!!!!!!!

Inside my head: uncontrollable laughter. On the outside: uncontrollable laughter.

He stared at me and then asked for another clue.

I said "what says mooooooo?" and then he said "a cow" like that was the dumbest question in the world. I then clapped for him and he got the proudest grin.

See, laughing CAN be therapeutic. For me at least.

After that we did this self awareness therapy game with a balloon and several people got whacked in the face with it before the recreational therapist decided that it may not be the best idea she's ever had.

It was a pretty good day.

More stories to come when I'm not too tired to think.

Whatever you do, DON'T laugh

I apologize for the lack of blogging. It has been a rough first of the semester for me. I had my first nursing school breakdown (which I swore would NEVER happen to me). I was very sad. BUT, I have since then bounced back and am feeling motivated, and ready to do well.

Tomorrow clinicals start.

It's always an uneasy time. Everything is unfamiliar. The place. The people. The terminology. It's just plain scary.

Tomorrow I'll wake up before the sun to work my first 12 hour shift on my first psych unit. Thankfully this summer I got plenty of experience with psych patients. The difference? Now I'm actually supposed to know what to do. This summer I could just laugh and think "man, this dude is CRAZY!" but now I have to come up with some "therapeutic response". Laughing at the patient, according to my mental health nursing instructor, is not therapeutic.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I honestly cannot see myself working as a mental health nurse. Ever. But that's what I said about the NICU, and I loved it.

I'm just praying that I won't laugh.

I swear, if a patient barks at me like a guy did this summer it's going to take an act of God to hold it in.

Spirit now dwelling and living within me, keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus' face. Let not the things of this world ever sway me, I'll run 'til I finish the race.