She lives!

Yesterday morning I received a call from the vet that I had been taking Annie to.

The conversation went a little something like this:

Vet: Allye? Uh, yes, this is Dr. K. Umm, about Annie...

Me: Yes?

Vet: Well, I didn't put her to sleep on Friday...

Me: Okay....

Vet: I've been giving her medication and she seems to be bouncing back. She's not acting sick anymore.

Me: Oh my gosh, okay.

Vet: I can take her to the shelter if you want me to.

Me: No! I'll come pick her up. I'm out of town, can I come get her tomorrow?

Vet: Yes, of course.

So, right now I'm typing this on my couch with Annie sleeping snuggled up next to me.

Talk about crazy.

Julie no longer calls Annie by her real name, she calls her Jesus.

I'm not going to rename her that, because that would be weird.

But it is a little ironic that I thought she died on good friday and then was back alive the day after Easter.

Sad day

This post is going to be a long drawn out, depressing post. It's purpose is purely therapeutic.

Today was a really hard, sad day.

As you all know Annie was sick a couple of weeks ago, and after being put on antibiotics she got better. Well, the day after her antibiotics were out her symptoms came back, except this time they were worse. I tried to stay positive, took her to the vet again, and got her back on meds.

They didn't help this time.

She kept getting worse and worse.

Last night I knew. I knew that I was going to have to say bye to her.

I let her sleep with me. I cuddled her close, pet the super soft spot right between her eyes, down to her little nose, and back up to her speckled ears.

The first thing I told her when I picked her up off the street was "It's okay, I'll protect you puppy."

I found myself telling her the same thing last night.

It's funny, because having her turned me into this softy that thinks animals can understand what I'm saying to them.

Today when we got to the vet I sat in the parking lot and cried while she slept in my lap.

I kept saying "it's going to be okay."

I'm not sure if I was talking to her or myself. Probably both.

I took this picture,

gave her a huge hug, took some deep breaths and went into the vet.

He told me I was doing the right thing, that she was just going to get worse and suffer.

It helped in the moment but when I had to take off her little denim collar with that cute pink name tag on it, the lump in my throat became way to big to deal with.

I started crying and he said he would give me a minute.

I quickly composed myself because crying in front of people (especially people I don't know) is something that I cannot handle.

He came back in to take her because I didn't want to be present when they gave her the shot.

I couldn't say my final goodbye because I was too close to completely loosing it. I pat her head and told the vet thanks as a rushed out the door.

I walked to my car as quick as I could and as soon as the door closed, I sobbed.

After I realized that an old lady in the car next to me was watching me cry, I sucked it up and started to drive home with Annie's collar in my lap.

The rest of the day was pretty much full of me thinking about how much it sucks that I poured myself into this sweet little thing for 3 weeks and now she's just gone. I've never gotten that attached to an animal, and now I know why.

I don't regret it at all. Not one single bit.

Love just hurts sometimes.

She was so precious, sweet, fun, and brought me so much joy in a time that without her would have been much more lonely than it was with her. Having her meant that I had to always think about something else beside myself, and it was good for me.

She was good for me.

I miss her a lot. I'm probably going to wake up around 3 am to take her outside, because that's what she would wake up every morning.

Andrew told me today that he would get me a puppy again some day.

I'm going to hold him to that because having her reminded me how much I love being devoted to something that needs me and loves me.

I'll always remember how awesome she was, as corny as it may sound, I will. She was the best puppy ever.

The cutest, too...

Shower

Let me tell you a little bit about my sweet, wonderful, absolutely perfect shower this weekend.

Maybe I should be a bit more specific. I'm about to tell you about my BRIDAL shower.

It was SO fun. I was nervous about it the morning of. Like, butterflies in my stomach, couldn't finish my whole sandwich at lunch kind of nervous. Ridiculous, I know. I just DO NOT like attention being on me, and a bridal shower (with me as the bride) naturally means the attention is going to be on me. I thought I was going to be super awkward opening gifts. I get into this cycle when opening gifts in front of people where I think I'm not being enthusiastic enough, so I overcompensate with WAY too much enthusiasm. I told my friends to scratch their nose if they caught me doing it. They only scratched their nose once and it was when I opened my KITCHEN AID MIXER. Yeah, there is no such thing as too much enthusiasm over that.

Anyway, it was great. The hostesses did such a wonderful job of making it super perfect. It was themes love birds. You can't go wrong with a bird theme, they are just precious.

The food was bird themed, there were little paper birds for people to write well wishes on and then hang them on the tree, bird salt and pepper shakers, ah! it was perfect.

Do you want to see pictures?

Too bad if you answered no to that question, because I'm about to post a lot of them.

These pictures come from the cameras of my talented soul friend Robyn, and my sweet future mom in law Diane. Thank you both for capturing the special day!

I am so thankful for friends and family who planned, came, and gave Andrew and I some great gifts to start our life together! I can't wait for June.

Speaking of getting married, yesterday I went to petsmart to get Annie a name tag. I figured it was about time, now that she is learning that she can explore and not staying by my side for every step I take. I was typing "GUTHRIE" on the back with my number on it when I realized that I'm only going to have that name for oh, 60 something more days and these name tags are expensive (8 bucks, by the way...CRAZY)! So, this is what I did:

I had to let Annie gnaw on my hand to get a decent photo of it and it's still blurry. If you can't tell, it says Crosby and has both Andrew and I's numbers on it. Every time I look at it I feel happy and excited.

Annie is excited about being a Crosby, too. Even though she is constantly trying to attack that darn dangly thing that makes noise around her neck. She caught it yesterday and walked around with it in her mouth so proudly for about 5 minutes (which is a very long time for her to stay focused on one thing...the pup has bad ADD).

I apologize for not being able to write one blog post without talking about the dog. One day, soon and very soon, I will do it.

Random Ramblings, Mostly Annie though

Annie is thankfully pretty much back to normal!

She is again the annoyingly rambunctious, hyper, loves to run around the coffee table and drive Kensey crazy puppy.

She can climb up the apartment stairs by herself. I still walk behind her with my hands on both sides of her in case of a slip.

She's learning how to fetch:

She loves to perch:

I think she's on the mend and I am SO happy about that.

In other news, my capstone group is officially done with our project! IT FEELS AMAZING! We got chosen to participate in scholars day which means extra credit...not too shabby. Our symposium is on Friday, and after that we will be completely finished.

Biiiiig sigh of relief.

I got my assignment for the "immersion experience", and I'll be on a medical surgical floor at Hillcrest. I'm excited to see my Hillcrest friends again.

I applied for another job last night, this time it was different though. The posting said "NEW GRADS WELCOME!!". I jumped on it, and I'm praying to get a call SOON. It's an oncology nurse position, something that I was SO passionate about my first semester of nursing school. I think I would love it. We'll see what happens!

Other than that, 24 days until I graduate.

I need to show you pictures from my super wonderful shower on Saturday, too. Maybe I'll get to that this week.

A sick pup

This is about to get a whole lotta ridiculous.

Just thought I would warn you before it begins.

Annie has been sick for the past couple of days. Last night it got bad. She was throwing up, lethargic, with a runny nose and goopy eyes.

I, being the queen of google-diagnosing automatically jumped to the worst possible conclusion.

She has distemper.

I've been a wreck. I almost cried about 10 times today thinking about having to put her to sleep.

Last night I laid on the floor with my feverish little pup, cuddled up close, cried and said "how did you do this to me? how can I already love you this much?!"

She didn't respond.

It's insane how much I like her...love her.

I guess it's because she is precious, and totally lovable; but I also think it's because I have put SO MUCH into her. Sleepless nights, a whole week spent not going out of the apartment because I want her to be socialized, and trained.

I took her to the vet today and he said it's too soon to tell if she indeed does have distemper...for now we're just going to assume it's a respiratory infection. She's on two medications as well as chicken and gravy baby food to make her eat her food (SPOILED).

How could anyone not love this face?

Seriously. Love her.

Thanks for bearing with me while I rant about my sad obsession with that adorable lump of fur.

I hoping she gets better fast.

Sleep is overrated

At least that's what Annie seems to think.

Except, of course, when I'm awake.

She loves to sleep on the wood legs of our coffee table.

Weirdo.

She's too cute.

Still in love. Just a tired love. Hoping for a better night tonight.

Crossing our fingers. And paws.

She has a name

Annie. 'Cause she was an orphan, and Julie is great at picking out names.

She's fitting in just fine.

And I'm kind of in love already.

I'm sure you can understand why.

I wasn't even mad at 5 am when I was woken up by puppy cries.

I've got it bad.

Highway Pup

I found this little darling today on the side of I35.

Shocking, I know.

I'm still going back and forth between keeping her and not keeping her. She's sooooo cute and sweet and hasn't had one accident.

I'll keep you updated.

For now I'm too busy smelling sweet puppy breath and running outside every 30 minutes to let her pee.

Be still my heart. Puppy love!