I don't like to worry

But I'm worried. 

I need a job so badly. I was holding onto a little bit of hope to the VA job, but found out today that I definitely didn't get it. Instead of getting discouraged, I got inspired and went around to nursing homes, the mall, and 3 restaurants. I can't work at nursing homes because I'm not a licensed anything, stores at the mall have hired for the holiday season already, and no luck at the restaurants. 

Oh geeze, what am I going to do?

Any ideas faithful readers of mine?

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful...

Hebrews 10:23

Some Ramblings

My Thanksgiving was very happy. 

I hope yours was too. 

Time goes way too fast when Andrew is around. 

I miss my roommates. 5 days without them is a little too long.

One week of school left before Christmas break. 

I need a job. Badly. 

I got to hang out with Chelsea last night. Met her future hubby, Dominick. Went to see The Christmas Carol, it was my first 3D experience. It was pretty neat. The movie was a little too scary though, I wasn't expecting that. It was really fun to spend some time with Chels though. 

This week really shouldn't be that bad. I have a simulation tuesday afternoon, two exams friday, and one on saturday. Then, who knows what. Hopefully I'll have some sort of job by the end of this week.

The amount of grease that is in my hair should never be allowed. A shower and a nap are calling my name.

Modern Day Cobbler (Wannabe)

No school for 5 whole days. WAHOOOO! I'm going to conveniently forget that I am a nursing major for 5 days. I put my books on the bookshelf, and don't plan on taking them off again 'til monday. 

I started the break out with lunch with Jules at Chick-fil-a, deep cleaned my poor dirty lil car, cleaned my room, and started on some laundry. This is the most productive I have been in a long while, and it feels nice. It's amazing how good a clean room makes me feel. 

I think today I'm going to make these shoes:

Andrew got a me a couple pair of these a while back, I made one pair and they are super cute, but because I didn't know what I was doing they are already falling apart. So, I'm going in for round two today. Hopefully I'll be a better shoemaker today.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, hope it's filled with happiness and love. 

Counting down...

3 days...Thanksgiving break, Andrew in town!

12 days...Last final, a month long break, resting, reading non nursing related material.

39 days...2010. Wow.

49 days...J2 semester begins, I learn how to take care of babies and pregnant ladies. 

108 days...Costa Rica with my soul friend, learning to surf, relaxing on the beach.

136 days...I turn 21. Officially old.

167 days...Done with school. 

Tomorrow...Pharm test I really need to study for. 

Saturday Love

I just got done making pancakes for the roomies and I. 

Now we're laying around watching TV, drinking coffee, enjoying each other. 

This is why I love Saturday mornings (or in this case, afternoons).

I'm still recovering from the mystery sickness. This cough is persistent, let me tell you. 

I didn't get the job. Big time bummer. I don't know what's next...we'll see. 

Other than still being jobless, and sick, not much else is going on. 

4 days until Thanksgiving break, which means 4 days until I get to see some very special person. These 4 days need to hurry up and pass.

It's over?

Yes. The dreaded J1 clinicals are over, and it wasn't even dreadful. It was wonderful, actually. 

I have learned SO much. It's insane really. I didn't think I was capable of learning so much. 

Today we had a last day of clinicals celebration at the Golden Corral (yeehaw!) We shared funny stories and had a chance to reflect on this crazy time in our lives. It has gone by so, so fast, and it's been great. 

Here is my clinical group. These are the people I spend my wednesdays and thursdays with (well, mondays and tuesdays too). They are great. These people are the ones I call when my patient is pooing all over the ground. These are the people that make me laugh at the butt crack of dawn when we have our morning huddle around coffee and papers. Learning and growing together has been so fun. 

Boresville, USA

Being sick and not having a job has shown me that I do not like having nothing to do for an extended amount of time. 

I stayed home from clinicals today, not because I really wanted to, but because Ms. Dixon told me that if I had a fever i HAD to stay home. Fair enough. This morning, 100.3. All in all, it's probably good that I had a fever because honestly, i don't know if I could have worked today. I mean, I got exhausted yesterday just taking a shower and attempting to clean/do laundry. 

But, anyway, back to my point. Doing nothing is great, for maybe a day. After that, it just gets annoying. I'm anxiously waiting to hear back from the job that I applied for last week. I really want it, and know it would be super awesome if I got it....we'll see. If I don't get it, I don't know. Let's just say having friends who are managers at Chick-fil-a might come in handy.

So, until I recover from this sickness AND until I get a job, my agenda will remain: couch time, sleep, watch re-runs of glee, sleep, watch a movie, sleep, couch time, bed time. 

I shouldn't complain, because how often does one really have an excuse to be THAT lazy? But it really is getting on my nerves.

You have no idea how much joy this brings me:

No matter how much Dirk annoys me sometimes, he can still fill me with happiness. There's just nothing like a celebratory dog pile after an amazing last second win. 

Kenzie

i like this picture. 

look at my little greyhound wannabe.

My heart is free

Tomorrow I have my first final. I really cannot believe how quickly this semester has flown by. I'm hoping the rest fly by this fast! If so, I'll be outta here in no time. 

This weekend was a fun adventure. I went home with Robyn to hang out with her family and take her cutie pie cousins, Sydney and River rock climbing. It was fun. It was a little strange being in the fort worth area for the first time in a little over 5 months. Made me miss home. 

It was a good time though. 

Time to go study, drink some tea, and enjoy my new favorite pachouli and sandalwood candle. 

keep loving.

So I Don't Think I Can Dance

But I really, really wish I could. 

And if I could, I would dance like this. 

Oh, I love this show.

Thankful

In spirit of copying Robyn and Brooke, here are 10 things I am thankful for:

1. Andrew. (might get a little mushy warning) He has filled my life with SO much love. More love than I have ever known from a person. He's always there for me, always. At 3 am when I'm scared  because someone is knocking on my door and call him, at 7 am when my car doesn't work, when I'm feeling a little lonely and just need to sit on the phone. He's patient, loving, accepting, funny, has the best laugh you have ever heard, the sweetest heart filled with grace, this great mind that thinks of things in a way that I would never think of, and he has a a way of making me this gushy emotional girl that I never thought I would be (hence me writing all this). He has a fantastic family, too, that I am very thankful for. Overall, it's a pretty sweet gig. 

2. Friends. All of them. I could not even begin to write all the ways they make my life bright as sunshine. 

3. Roommates. Kelsey, Julie, Allie, and Lindsey. They are my family, my community. Each one of them is special in their own little way. They are constant reminders of the love of Christ to me. I'm so glad to have each of them. 

4. Nursing School. Although I probably voice my unthankfulness much more than I do my thankfulness, I am very thankful for nursing school. Being in nursing school is teaching me so much more than the skills I will need for my life as a nurse. I'm (slowly) learning discipline. I'm learning how to love people (patients) in a way that they know I care, but I'm able to let go of it later (again, slowly). I'm thankful for instructors who have a passion for nursing, and a passion for making sure we get it right. I'm thankful for the tight community that we have in all of our sufferings...it makes it much more bearable!

5. Sour patch kids. Life with out them would be a life without a motivational candy that I seriously can never ever ever get enough of. 

6. Robyn. I guess she falls under number 2, but I figure she needs her own number. I'm just that thankful for her. She teaches me constantly. I love, love, love talking to her. I don't have any other friend like Robyn. I think we connect because we share some of the same struggles, and as much as I hate that for her, I love it for me because she is always teaching me better ways to process, deal with, and move on. I'm glad we have each other. I'm excited for our adventures. 

7. Pictures. They speak in a way that words cannot. My heart beats fast at a beautiful photograph and my brain automatically smiles when I look on the walls of my bedroom and get to see people I love. 

8. Stars. God has spoken to me many nights through the stars. I feel like his love is made so evident by the beauty of a bright night sky. I'm mesmerized constantly by its beauty, it takes my breath away more than anything else. 

9. Thursday night bible study group. Matt, Dani, Amy, Luke, Kelsey. I'm learning so much from this group. God speaks through all of them in different ways. I love getting to hear about mom adventures and struggles from Amy and Dani, I've learned so much by just watching the way they carry out their lives as women of Christ. I love getting to see and hear how Luke and Kelsey are processing things. And Matt is such a wonderful, honest teacher. 

10. Blankets. I get cold a lot, and blankets keep me warm. 

This list really could really carry on to 100, but since I have 5 more pages of a pharmacology paper to write, I'm going to stop being thankful. 

I wonder at his beautiful system and how it feels better than anything I could choose or invent for myself. 

I wonder as I gaze up at the night sky, this love letter from God to creation, this reminder that somewhere there is peace, somewhere there is order, and I think about how great his kingdom is, and is going to be, and I wonder in this rare and beautiful moment, how I could ever want to walk away from it all. 

Life is not a story about me, but it is a being told to me, and I can be glad of that. I can be glad to look up at the stars and whisper thank you to the creator of the universe, a creator who says you don't have to be smart or good-looking or religious or anything; 

you just have to cling to him,

love him, 

need him, 

listen to his story. 

Tonight while I was hangin' with Luke & Cash,  Luke and I were talking about how my car has been acting strange. After many "well, why is it bwoken owllye?" questions he said, "Okay, I'll go get my tools and fix her up for ya!" 

I told him he should practice on his Handy Manny car first. 

Later I told him it was almost time for a bath and he said "oh look at the time, i've GOT to get to work!" 

Ha. 

Cuties. 

jakdhskfjsdafh sdf sdakds fjhdf 

i cannot concentrate. 

i'm the biggest procrastinator on planet earth.

and i'm HORRIBLE at writing pharmacology papers. 

America's funniest home videos might be my new favorite show. Well, besides Glee. And So You Think You Can Dance. Oh and Greys. Oh, alright...it's not my new favorite show, it's just funny. 

Today at the hospital I had the same patient I had a few weeks ago. He and his wife are some of the sweetest folks I have ever met. Bad things happen to good people, I get that, but it just doesn't make sense. It's so hard to see people in pain and fear. But it is so rewarding when your patient hugs you at the end of the day, pats your back and says "you're a great nurse, and a good girl."  and then his wife invites you over. Sweet, sweet people. I wish I could make all his cancer disappear. 

Anyway, I have lots to do and I really, really, really should be writing a paper on Prednisone, not this blog.

Wish me luck, and productiveness! 

This day

It's has been quite a day. 

I woke up late. No big deal, it happens all the time, I 

just wont take a shower, or put on make-up. It's cool. 

I get in my car and it wont start. 

Alright, so I'll just jump start it. I've jump started a car 

before, no big deal. 

Well, I opened my hood to find this:

Do you see a battery? I didn't. I also had no idea where to put this lil jumper cable thingies. So, I attached them to those knobbies up in the left corner. After calling and waking up that sweet(and so very patient) man of mine, I found out that was a wrong move. He directed me as best that he could via telephone, and my car even started, but then died right after I detached the cables. 

(by the way the battery is under that huge metal strip and the wiper fluid container...crazy)

Julie has the flu, so I drove her car to school. 

30 minutes late. PTL for nice teacher day. 

Lunch time. I come home with a plan. I'm going to get that ugly battery out and take it to WalMart and get it checked, get a new battery and be good to go. 

False. 

Those bolts and screws were so dang tight. 

I drove to walmart, bought some tool that I thought would help, and came home. Guess what, it didn't. I drove back to walmart, returned it, looked for something else that would work. Didn't have any luck so I went to O'Reilly's. Those irish know how to help. 

They let me borrow a tool to take off all those crazy screws. 

This story is getting way too long, I realize that, but since I'm already into it I'll continue...

Got home, spent a lot of frustrating minutes trying to squeeze my hands down into the tiny spaces to unscrew them. I have really small hands and I had issues. I'm really not sure how they put that stupid car together. I finally got the battery out and took it walmart. Sure enough, it was bad. Got a new one, spent more frustrating minutes putting back together the mess I made. 

It's running, and I'm happy. 

But, my eye is twitching. I'm not sure if it's because I'm just not made to be a mechanic or I need to go to bed early tonight. 

Cook-esteem

I made some really good baked potato soup tonight. 

I don't know if I'm the only person like this, but my cook-esteem is really low. 

Every single time I cook, I automatically assume it's going to taste bad. 

I'm a very careful cooker. I follow directions carefully. When I cook with Andrew (he's a great cook), I get nervous because he doesn't measure. He asks me to put some sugar in the pot and I say "how much?" he says "just a little, not too much." I say "here, you do it." 

I think I'll ruin it, then we'll have to eat cereal for dinner. 

Anyway, I was thinking tonight after my roommates and I finished eating the good soup, that I should try and be more confident in my abilities. 

That's all this post is about. 

Bon appetite.

Boo!

Boo Fest 2009 was a success. It was such a fun time. All the roommates woke up this morning, climbed in Julie's bed and talked until it was too late to go to church. We then decided to go get donuts. Now we're laying in the living room watching Madea Goes to Jail. It really doesn't get much better  than this.

Here are some pictures from last night. 

The roommates and their boys (minus the most special boy)...

Fred, Wilma, Hannah Montana, Jackie-O, Kate Gosselin, Middle School girl and her Giga Pet:

Chase and Ellen are super cute:

Nathan and his cuz were some italian guys with a Jonas brother Nick:

Brooke (Julia Childs), Robyn (Nerd), and Sarah (pig)Peacock Brittany and the kid who hid in the attic and said he floated away in a balloon George:

Cute Tetris Girls:

It was such a fun night!

Back to Medea...